IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in thair life time?

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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have different
preferrences
Correct your spelling
preferences
choosing
Change preposition
in choosing
show examples
 fixed or stable
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 to live and work. Some prefer to stay in their born city lifelong time and others are inclined to experience
diversified
Correct article usage
a diversified
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 by changing living areas. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine both sides of
this
Linking Words
 different
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
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 to seek a conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, being settled down in a fixed place
satisfy
Correct subject-verb agreement
satisfies
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 the
needs
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need
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 to seek a sense of security for those
risk-adverse
Correct the spelling
risk-averse
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people
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, who show much loyalty to
the
Change the word
their
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 employer and friends, earning them
a
Correct article usage
apply
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secure pay and stable
friendship
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friendships
show examples
 in turn.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being deeply rooted in a community will be beneficial to
career
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 success
due to
Linking Words
 the intensified and sustainable relationship locally, saving less time on communicating with business partners and
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 council.
In addition
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, it is very hard for these
people
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 to feel psychologically lonely under much
accompany
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accompaniment
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 from parents and tight
relationship
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relationships
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 within the community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no doubt a trade-off would exist in
this
Linking Words
 unchanging
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
Use synonyms
. Those who are secured in a lifelong job will not have much access to opportunities
exploring
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to explore
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 their true passion in
career
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 path to make informed
decision
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decisions
show examples
 before settling down.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 lose the chance to experience
diverse
Add an article
a diverse
show examples
 range of
culture
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cultures
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 and expand their friend circle.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who choose to study abroad or work as digital
nomad
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nomads
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 would make friends globally,
broading
Correct your spelling
broadening
broaden
 their
horizon
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horizons
show examples
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, living in different areas
also
Linking Words
 hones living skills since
people
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 need to become more independent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 taking care of their daily
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
adapting
Correct word choice
and adapting
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 to the new environment. To summarize, it is true that staying in a fixed place
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
for life
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 long might lead to a sense of security, efficiency for
career
Use synonyms
 success, and a sense of belonging. At the same time,
however
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a secured
show examples
secured
Correct article usage
a secured
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 means losing the opportunities to explore true
career
Use synonyms
 aspirations, friend circle expansion, and strengthened living skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one can only conclude that there is always a
trade
Correct your spelling
trade-off
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off
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing either
Use synonyms
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
style
Use synonyms
, depending on different value
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 for individuals.

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task response
Try to expand on your examples to provide a clearer picture and make your arguments more compelling. Providing more detailed and varied examples can help to strengthen your points and show a wider understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and complexity. Your essay tends to have a repetitive structure, which can affect the flow and engagement of your writing. Try to use different sentence beginnings, lengths, and structures to add variety and interest.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points being discussed.
task response
You've done a good job in covering both perspectives on the topic and providing a balanced view. This shows a thorough understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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