Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in thair life time?
Nowadays,
people
have different preferrences
Correct your spelling
preferences
choosing
fixed or stable Change preposition
in choosing
place
to live and work. Some prefer to stay in their born city lifelong time and others are inclined to experience Fix the agreement mistake
places
diversified
Correct article usage
a diversified
life
by changing living areas. In this
essay, I will examine both sides of this
different life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
style
to seek a conclusion.
To begin
with, being settled down in a fixed place satisfy
the Correct subject-verb agreement
satisfies
needs
to seek a sense of security for those Fix the agreement mistake
need
risk-adverse
Correct the spelling
risk-averse
people
, who show much loyalty to the
employer and friends, earning them Change the word
their
a
secure pay and stable Correct article usage
apply
friendship
in turn. Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
Moreover
, being deeply rooted in a community will be beneficial to career
success due to
the intensified and sustainable relationship locally, saving less time on communicating with business partners and local
council. Correct article usage
the local
In addition
, it is very hard for these people
to feel psychologically lonely under much accompany
from parents and tight Replace the word
accompaniment
relationship
within the community.
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
On the other hand
, there is no doubt a trade-off would exist in this
unchanging life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
style
. Those who are secured in a lifelong job will not have much access to opportunities exploring
their true passion in Change the verb form
to explore
career
path to make informed decision
before settling down. Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
Furthermore
, they also
lose the chance to experience diverse
range of Add an article
a diverse
culture
and expand their friend circle. Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
For instance
, those who choose to study abroad or work as digital nomad
would make friends globally, Fix the agreement mistake
nomads
broading
their Correct your spelling
broadening
broaden
horizon
. Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
Last
but not the
least, living in different areas Correct article usage
apply
also
hones living skills since people
need to become more independent on
taking care of their daily Change preposition
in
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
adapting
to the new environment.
To summarize, it is true that staying in a fixed place Correct word choice
and adapting
life
long might lead to a sense of security, efficiency for Change preposition
for life
career
success, and a sense of belonging. At the same time, however
, Correct article usage
a secured
secured
Correct article usage
a secured
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
style
also
means losing the opportunities to explore true career
aspirations, friend circle expansion, and strengthened living skills. Therefore
, one can only conclude that there is always a trade
Correct your spelling
trade-off
off
choosing either Change preposition
in
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
style
, depending on different value driver
for individuals.Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
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task response
Try to expand on your examples to provide a clearer picture and make your arguments more compelling. Providing more detailed and varied examples can help to strengthen your points and show a wider understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and complexity. Your essay tends to have a repetitive structure, which can affect the flow and engagement of your writing. Try to use different sentence beginnings, lengths, and structures to add variety and interest.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main points being discussed.
task response
You've done a good job in covering both perspectives on the topic and providing a balanced view. This shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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