IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, people waste a lot of food which is bought in shops and restaurants. What do you think are the reason? What can be done to solve this problem?

#countries #people #waste #food #shops #restaurants #reason
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Wasting
food
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 very popular among
people
 nowadays. In many different
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
people
 waste foods that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
from restaurants
because
Change preposition
for
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of
reasons
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss what I think are the main
reasons
 for
such
 action.
Firstly
, there are many causes for humans to waste
food
 but I think the most two popular
reasons
 are social media and the availability of delivery
applications
. In terms of social media, I think that
food
 trends
such
 as mukbangs and
food
 reviews that are nowadays very popular on the internet, and on very
known
Correct word choice
well-known
show examples
applications
such
 as TikTok caused
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to be easily influenced to always buy and try different types of
food
 that the influencers eat and rate. 
Secondly
, the availability of different types of delivery
applications
 which made delivering
food
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your house very easy.
Also
, Because of the repeated advertisements and offers that these
applications
 make.
Moreover
, I think that the population that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 easily influenced are the college students since they don't have enough time to cook so they always choose the easiest and fastest way.
To sum up
, There are many
reasons
 why
people
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately,
show examples
 waste
food
 but as I mentioned I think that these are the two main
reasons
. In my opinion, we should raise more awareness towards
this
 phenomenon and we should remind each other about the hunger
that is
 happening in our world.
Submitted by NG on

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task achievement
The introduction is clear but could benefit from greater detail about the global nature of food waste.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical, but transitions between ideas should be smoother.
task achievement
Include more concrete examples and data to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Carefully check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability.
task achievement
Develop each point more fully to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good overall structure.
task achievement
You presented several relevant reasons for food waste, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and conveys your ideas well, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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