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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of three types of nutrients in four types of meals that might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 health if consumed in excess
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the data is collected for the USA and is stated in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat consumption in dinner
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the highest when
breakfast
Use synonyms
 was the lowest. Day meal stayed in the middle among the four but
snacks
Use synonyms
 only placed first in one category.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the amount of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner stands out
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 43%, significantly more than lunch which is only 29%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 had the lowest quantity of
sodium
Use synonyms
 relatively with 14% each. In terms of saturated fat containment, it has the same trend as
sodium
Use synonyms
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 dinner
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place and lunch
comes
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second.
Whereas
Linking Words
, fat seems to be
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 ingredient in
snacks
Use synonyms
 more than in
breakfast
Use synonyms
, with 21% and 16% respectively. Moving to the added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in meals,
snacks
Use synonyms
 are the key component, accounting
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 42%. Super has almost the half amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ratio of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast
Use synonyms
 is equal to the fat, at 16%, and lunch contains
sugar
Use synonyms
 at 19%.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, breakfast, snacks, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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