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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information  about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information  about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #information&nbsp #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #information #features #comparisons
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The featured graph illustrates the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
'
favourite
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subjects
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of children whose
favourite
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 are sport and
science
Use synonyms
 is higher in
school
Use synonyms
 A, and a different pattern is seen in other
subjects
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. It is clear from the chart that, most of the
students
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 in
school
Use synonyms
 A choose sport as their
favourite
Use synonyms
 one, and the figure for the percentage is over 70%,
while
Linking Words
 only 10% of
students
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 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 consider
this
Linking Words
subjets
Correct your spelling
subject
show examples
 to be their first choice. Meanwhile,
school
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 A has more
students
Use synonyms
 interested in
science
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 too. There
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
18% of children in
school
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 A prefer to learn
science
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, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
school
Use synonyms
B
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 with only 3% of
students
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choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
science
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 as their major.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
B
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more
students
Use synonyms
 who take math, literature and drawing as their
favourite
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subjects
Use synonyms
. First of all, 50% of children would like to study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drawing in
school
Use synonyms
B
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
proportioin
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
school
Use synonyms
 A is 8%.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 has more than 35% of
students
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tend
Correct pronoun usage
who tend
show examples
 to dive into literature and 20%
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 math, but
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 figure for
school
Use synonyms
 A is 10% and 12% respectively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, favourite, subjects, school, b, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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