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Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information  about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The bar chart shows information  about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#bar #information&nbsp #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #information #features #comparisons
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The featured graph illustrates the proportion of
students
'
favourite
subjects
 in
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 A and
B
.
Overall
, the percentage of children whose
favourite
subjects
 are sport and
science
 is higher in
school
 A, and a different pattern is seen in other
subjects
. It is clear from the chart that, most of the
students
 in
school
 A choose sport as their
favourite
 one, and the figure for the percentage is over 70%,
while
 only 10% of
students
 in
school
B
 consider
this
subjets
Correct your spelling
subject
show examples
 to be their first choice. Meanwhile,
school
 A has more
students
 interested in
science
 too. There
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
18% of children in
school
 A prefer to learn
science
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
school
B
 with only 3% of
students
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
science
 as their major.
By contrast
,
school
B
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more
students
 who take math, literature and drawing as their
favourite
subjects
. First of all, 50% of children would like to study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drawing in
school
B
,
while
 the
proportioin
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
school
 A is 8%.
Similarly
,
school
B
 has more than 35% of
students
tend
Correct pronoun usage
who tend
show examples
 to dive into literature and 20%
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 math, but
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 figure for
school
 A is 10% and 12% respectively.
Submitted by 1356388645 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, favourite, subjects, school, b, science with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
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