Read the question below and write on the given topic. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. You should write at least 250 words. What's the right age for parents to get their kids a cell phone? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The Right Moment of
Cell
Phone for Children
The incredible link between children
and cell
phones
parents
should be aware.
Many Change preposition
of.
parents
are reluctant over the right age to allow their pupils to own cell
phones
. some of them consider children
should be entitled to an electronic device early but others delay this
risky responsibility because of the vulnerability of their kids.
In my opinion, people should give cell
phones
to their children
when they are teenagers
because they can develop their creativity, it is good for their safety, and be in touch with their friends.
one major cause of giving portable phones
to teenagers
is that they can develop their creativity. with the Internet, pupils have the opportunity to learn from new technologies such
as creative games, chapt Gpt. moreover
, being regularly in contact with smartphones, children
become familiar with electronic devices, and these good habits can arouse their appetites for computers.
Another reason of
allowing Change preposition
for
teenagers
to use phones
resides in the safety of pupils. children
with smartphone
, are most of the time in touch with their Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
parents
. they can call not only their relatives in case of an issue but also
the police by just tapping the three numbers. phones
represent a good instrument for parents
to be aware of the situation of their babies.
Finally
, Appliances play a good role in helping children
to maintain their friendship
. Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
while
at home, children
do not need to be always outside to discuss with their peers. with the advent of social media, teenagers
can enjoy remotely
and Correct pronoun usage
themselves remotely
this
allow
Change the verb form
allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
to have more control on
them.
We can see that the best moment to offer smartphones to Change preposition
over
children
is the teenager
stage because Replace the word
teenage
their
can use them Correct pronoun usage
they
propely
.Correct your spelling
properly
Submitted by ibamba88 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay has addressed the task effectively but could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Try to include a personal anecdote or a concrete example to illustrate your points.
general grammar
There are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow of your essay. Review your work for consistency in capitalization, punctuation, and verb tense use.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Furthermore, the conclusion lacks impact and should summarize the key points more effectively. Make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next, ensuring coherence.
task achievement
You effectively discussed the potential benefits of providing cell phones to teenagers, including creativity development, safety, and maintaining friendships.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph addressing a separate reason for your argument. This helps in maintaining clarity and focus.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.