advnces technology and automation have reduce the need for manual labour To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advnces #technology #automation #labour

Technology

is flourishing in leaps and bounds in every field and

therefore

, there has been a constant decline in

man power

Correct your spelling

manpower

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. It is an undeniable fact that robots are replacing humans. I will discuss the effect of

aforementioned

Correct article usage

the aforementioned

show examples

statement

conclude

Correct word choice

and conclude

show examples

my opinion in the following passages. To embark on, I believe that

technology

runs today's World irrespective of the nature of the job. Right from IT sectors, Automotive companies, Hospitals,

Government

Fix the agreement mistake

Governments

show examples

etc

Add a comma

etc,

show examples

all rely on modern

technology

and other automatic systems.

For example

, Studies shown by Hyundai in 2022 depicted that they were able to assemble 3000 cars in 30 days because of robotic assemblers which would have taken at least 3 months if done by humans.

Also

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

Government is transitioning into

digital

Add an article

a digital

show examples

nation where

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

all documents are available online and with one click away. Anything can be applied

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online,

for instance

last

week

Change the capitalization

show examples

applied for my license through

online

Add an article

an online

the online

show examples

portal and

Change the capitalization

show examples

was able to get them within 2 days which would have not been possible if

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

did not exist.

However

on the contrary

, it is

also

a hindrance for many because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

job opportunities are

Change preposition

show examples

the verge of decline. Every year more and more individuals are losing their livelihood since their jobs are seized by electronic devices. Their financial stability is jeopardized. To exemplify,

survey

Add an article

a survey

the survey

show examples

done by Job's website shows that 72% of people in China are replaced by computers and other robotic devices and they

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

faced with unemployment. All in all, the reality of today's world is that we all are dependent on

technology

such

as phones, laptops, etc..It is an inevitable part of our life and there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

no two ways about it.

Submitted by u.umayal92 on Fri May 17 2024

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task response

Your essay presents a clear position, but ensure that each main point is fully developed and clear. For instance, your second body paragraph could benefit from more detailed discussion on the impact of job loss due to automation.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is quite well organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transition between ideas can be smoother. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your paragraphs and ideas seamlessly.

task response

You have chosen relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the Hyundai study and the online government services in India.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets the context and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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advnces technology and automation have reduce the need for manual labour To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or motor-bikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?