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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #countries #travel #say #information #tv #internet
Learning about other countries and cultures is something interesting. What is the way to achieve
this
 study?
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
 and how to learn about it? There are arguments about those ways some say they can learn from books or other sources instant of
travel
.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view and will be explained.
Travel
 is the best way to discover and learn about the countries by visiting the historical places there.
Hence
, historical places can provide so much
information
 about how they used to live before and how they improved their living in the current time.
For example
, there are a lot of restaurants that have the traditional food of the country and how they are made. Yet, As we know food expresses the nation and every recipe has a story. Unfortunately, some can not afford
travel
 costs. Books, the internet and TV can provide
information
 about countries but not the same experience of being there.
In addition
, these sources can be a huge problem with integrity some
information
 can be wrong or forgotten.
For example
, turkey's historical books claim they have killed the knight "ibn
hathleen
Correct your spelling
Kathleen
Cathleen
",for the truth
he
Add a missing verb
is he
show examples
 was dead in his homeland.
In addition
, some TV channels Convey wrong
information
.
This
 essay discussed the different viewpoints and explained them.
Above all
, both views have their
issues
Correct word choice
own issues
show examples
.
Moreover
, Many people must and need to Check for the accuracy of the sources they learn from about other nations. In my opinion, I encourage
travel
, it is an amazing way to learn.
Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to maintain reader engagement. Moreover, pay attention to sentence structure to avoid abrupt breaks in thought.
task achievement
While the essay addresses both views, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and supported with detailed, accurate examples. This depth will contribute to a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ensure all points are clearly articulated. Avoid grammatical errors and ensure vocabulary is varied and appropriate to the context for better clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
You successfully included both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, providing a clear structure for the reader.
task achievement
You have made a commendable effort to present balanced views by discussing both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses main points clearly and maintains a focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Interactions
  • Tourism
  • Local economies
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Carbon emissions
  • Accessibility
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Authenticity
  • Reliability
  • Virtual reality
  • Immersive experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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