some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals claim that
professionals
Use synonyms
, like
doctors
Use synonyms
and
engineers
Use synonyms
, should be
enforced
Verb problem
forced
show examples
to
work
Use synonyms
in the
country
Use synonyms
where they received their training.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others think that
such
Linking Words
professionals
Use synonyms
should have the freedom to
work
Use synonyms
in another
country
Use synonyms
. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both these views and I support the former view. Nowadays, skilled workers (
doctors
Use synonyms
and
engineers
Use synonyms
) are moving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad because of their career
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
. People go to
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
better opportunities and try to settle there with their families.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, the
countries
Use synonyms
from where they derived their education are not getting any benefit from them. So,
this
Linking Words
type of migration leads to
scarcity
Correct article usage
a scarcity
show examples
of trained workers in that
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
show examples
a lot of trained
doctors
Use synonyms
and
engineers
Use synonyms
are moving towards developing
countries
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, people opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there should be some rules and regulations to keep them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the rules are imposed to keep the
doctors
Use synonyms
and
engineers
Use synonyms
after their training, the
country
Use synonyms
will get the benefit. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
governments provide financial assistance to educational institutions for making these
professionals
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe that every individual has the freedom to
work
Use synonyms
on his own will. Because strict rules and regulations may result in passivity and poor performance. If
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they want to do
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
in another
country
Use synonyms
, they should not be prohibited.
Moreover
Linking Words
, supportive behaviour can lead to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
success rate.
As a result
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
can
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
foreign remittances. In my perspective,
professionals
Use synonyms
should
work
Use synonyms
in the
countries
Use synonyms
from where they received their education. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
every year governments spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the improvement of these sectors. So, professional people should stay there and serve the
country
Use synonyms
.
For retaining
Change preposition
To retain
show examples
them,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can
also
Linking Words
give them different types of financial schemes.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is believed that enforcement of doing something leads to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact. But in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
it should be done for the betterment of the society and
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tasnimbookkeeper on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a clear opinion. However, to strengthen your argument further, more specific examples and detailed explanations would be beneficial. This will make your points more compelling and well-supported.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally flows well, some transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. For instance, the second paragraph could be linked more smoothly to the introduction. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
language
Grammar and sentence structure are generally good, but there are a few minor errors that could be refined. For example, 'moving to abroad' should be 'moving abroad', and 'do job' should be 'work'. Paying attention to these small details can enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your opinion, which provides a good foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to see multiple perspectives on an issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and reiterates your opinion, which brings a good sense of closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory service
  • skill shortages
  • societal welfare
  • exchange of knowledge
  • global advancements
  • diverse experiences
  • career development prospects
  • personal satisfaction
  • feeling trapped
  • productivity
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: