some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.
Some individuals claim that
professionals
, like doctors
and engineers
, should be enforced
to Verb problem
forced
work
in the country
where they received their training. On the contrary
, others think that such
professionals
should have the freedom to work
in another country
.
In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both these views and I support the former view.
Nowadays, skilled workers ( doctors
and engineers
) are moving to
abroad because of their career Change preposition
apply
prospect
. People go to Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
countries
for getting
better opportunities and try to settle there with their families. Change preposition
to get
For
this
reason, the countries
from where they derived their education are not getting any benefit from them. So, this
type of migration leads to scarcity
of trained workers in that Correct article usage
a scarcity
country
. For example
, in Bangladesh
a lot of trained Add a comma
Bangladesh,
doctors
and engineers
are moving towards developing countries
. For
this
reason, people opine that,
there should be some rules and regulations to keep them.
Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, if the rules are imposed to keep the doctors
and engineers
after their training, the country
will get the benefit. As,
governments provide financial assistance to educational institutions for making these Remove the comma
apply
professionals
.
On the other hand
, some believe that every individual has the freedom to work
on his own will. Because strict rules and regulations may result in passivity and poor performance. If,
they want to do Remove the comma
apply
job
in another Correct article usage
a job
country
, they should not be prohibited.
Moreover
, supportive behaviour can lead to higher
success rate. Correct article usage
a higher
As a result
, countries
can be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
by
foreign remittances.
In my perspective, Change preposition
from
professionals
should work
in the countries
from where they received their education. Because,
every year governments spend a lot of money Remove the comma
apply
for
the improvement of these sectors. So, professional people should stay there and serve the Change preposition
on
country
. For retaining
them, Change preposition
To retain
government
can Add an article
the government
also
give them different types of financial schemes.
To sum up
, it is believed that enforcement of doing something leads to negative
impact. But in some Correct article usage
a negative
cases
it should be done for the betterment of the society and Add a comma
cases,
country
.Submitted by tasnimbookkeeper on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a clear opinion. However, to strengthen your argument further, more specific examples and detailed explanations would be beneficial. This will make your points more compelling and well-supported.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally flows well, some transitions between ideas can be improved for better coherence. For instance, the second paragraph could be linked more smoothly to the introduction. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
language
Grammar and sentence structure are generally good, but there are a few minor errors that could be refined. For example, 'moving to abroad' should be 'moving abroad', and 'do job' should be 'work'. Paying attention to these small details can enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your opinion, which provides a good foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to see multiple perspectives on an issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well and reiterates your opinion, which brings a good sense of closure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.