Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children. Others claim that men are just as good as women in parenting. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

It is argued that females are better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
parenting as compared to
men
and
that is
why they have a major
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
in child upbringing.
While
other people believe that
both
men
and
women
are equal in parenting. In my point of view,
women
win in
this
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
.
This
essay will describe
both
views in detail.
To begin
with, the
reaso
Correct your spelling
reason
why people think that
women
are better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
upbringing
Add an article
the upbringing
show examples
of
children
than
men
is that
women
spend more time at home
while
men
are busy at work making money for the family.
Furthermore
,
Children
spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time with their mothers because they need
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for their everyday tasks completion.
In addition
to that,
women
are good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
dealing emotional matters of their
children
.
As a consequence
,
children
feel safer to share their feelings with their mother and follow her habits mostly.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
survey performed by
psychology
Correct article usage
a psychology
show examples
student in Rahim Yar Khan
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Pakistan proved that
children
who are living without their mothers are mostly depressed and
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
bad habits because there is no one to
lookafter
Correct your spelling
look after
them 24/7.
On the other hand
, some people think that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
are just like
women
when it comes to good parenting. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
behind
this
perception is that males earn for the family and try their best to give their
children
a better future.
Moreover
, they bear the hardships of society and guard their
children
from any kind of
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
which cannot be done by
weak
Correct article usage
the weak
show examples
nature of
women
.
Consequently
, when it comes to earning and family safety,
men
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
provider
Fix the agreement mistake
providers
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
women
.
However
,
men
lack in terms of
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving emotional support to their
children
but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
they are as important as
women
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
parenting.
For instance
, research shows that
children
who have lived their life without a father have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of confidence and are introverts. To draw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
conclusion, I believe that
although
women
are better parents than
men
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
both
cannot replace
eachother's
Correct your spelling
each other's
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
.
In addition
,
both
parents are necessary for
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
show examples
upbringing of a child and to make a balanced life together.
Submitted by zanu.ch666 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure to proofread your essay for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
depth
Develop your arguments more thoroughly and provide more detailed examples to support your points.
structure
Provide a clearer distinction between the introduction, main points, and conclusion to enhance the logical structure.
content
You addressed both viewpoints and provided your opinion.
organization
The essay was well-organized and covered the main points of the topic.
language
Your language and vocabulary were adequate to communicate your ideas effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: