Luck is the main factor that determines success. Do you agree or disagree?

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Hardwork
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Hard work
could be the biggest factor that
make
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makes
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a person
can
Verb problem
apply
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achieve
success
. It is hard to know what exactly the reason behind
someone
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someone's
show examples
success
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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it's not only mere
hardwork
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hard work
. To illustrate, let's say there are
thousand
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a thousand
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peoples who want to reach a successful state in life and yet, each one of them have the same morals, attitude and discipline. Maybe only one
percent
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per cent
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of them that able to make it, it is not a statistical fact, but in
reality
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reality,
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i
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I
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think the number is not that significantly different from what
i
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I
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have illustrated.
While
everyone
have
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has
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the same urge and motivation
of wanting
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to want
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a
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apply
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success
in life, why only
small
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a small
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group of people can truly achieve it
.
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?
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So, respectfully, without discrediting a successful person, Luck indeed plays an important role
behind
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in
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someone
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someone's
show examples
success
.
Submitted by nathan.nandoo on

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task response
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, but the argument would benefit from more structure. Start with a clear introduction that outlines your main points, and end with a conclusion that summarizes and reflects on your arguments.
task response
Develop each main point in separate paragraphs, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will give your essay more depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, they would be more impactful with improved cohesion. Use connecting words and phrases (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion') to guide your reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a formal introduction and conclusion, which are essential for a well-structured response. Ensure you include these elements to frame your argument well.
task response
You have a clear central argument about the role of luck in achieving success. This is an important aspect of the task response.
task response
Your example, although hypothetical, illustrates the point you are trying to make about the rarity of success even among equally hardworking individuals.
coherence cohesion
Your writing is generally clear and understandable, which is a positive aspect of coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • attribute
  • dedication
  • continuous learning
  • unforeseen opportunities
  • propel
  • serendipity
  • disproportionately
  • pivotal
  • perceived
  • embedded
  • achievements
  • adaptability
  • 'self-made'
  • nuanced understanding
What to do next:
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