The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
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The supplied bar charts indicate the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales

It seems that sale may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in online websites in various parts
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

over a decade. It can be clearly seen that people
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred

If you don’t want prefered to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to spend their money on online
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

much more than some other
retails
Replace the word
retailers

The word retails doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in 2003.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in 2013 the average of money which was spent in web
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for film and music was the highest
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In 2003,people paid their income in digital markets for
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and clothes,respectively 36% and 24% in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.(Which
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was the highest average over the whole year).Interestingly a third percentage of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales

It seems that sale may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for online
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was film and music in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in 2013.After
which
Correct pronoun usage
this

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was 29% for
travel
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in 2013.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the proportion of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales

It seems that sale may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of digital
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for film and music was slightly more than books with 21% and 19% in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in 2003.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in 2013,nearly a quarter of sales in online stores
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were

It seems that the verb was does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
for books in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Following
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Following this. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
a tiny fraction of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales

It seems that sale may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in internet markets was for clothes roughly 16% in New
Zealand
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in 2013 and was the lowest
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

over the period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, sale, zealand, shops, travel with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • E-commerce
  • Retail sectors
  • Growth rate
  • Decade
  • Decline
  • Trends
  • Online transactions
  • Consumer behavior
  • Market share
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Digital era
  • Accessibility
  • User-friendly platform
  • Market dynamics
  • Predictive outlook
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