In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
in many nations,
criminal based
guns Add a hyphen
criminal-based
are
increased significantly. I am Verb problem
have
on
the opinion that guns should be illegal for people. I Change preposition
of
complitery
agree with Correct your spelling
completely
this
since it does not assiciated
with security reasons.
Correct your spelling
associated
associate
To begin
with, the major problem of
having a Change preposition
with
gun
is that it can lead to commit
a crime. It means that it could be misused by the owners, particularly when people cannot control their emotions or under the pressure of others. In some countries, individuals who Change the verb form
committing
involved
in terrorist organizations Add a missing verb
are involved
in
Change preposition
apply
which
equipped with Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
the skils
skils
of operating a Correct your spelling
skills
gun
or even a bomb have possibility
to destroy public buildings and Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
to
kill others.
Another related reason is that Fix the infinitive
apply
gun
ownership may become a threat to the government. Even though the initial policy on allowing people using
a Change the verb form
to use
gun
is for security reasons, there is a survey carried out by UIN Sunan kaliaga
shows that the level of security Change the capitalization
Kaliaga
of
nations Change preposition
in
which
having a Correct word choice
where
gun
is prohibited, their happiness level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
are
significantly increase.
In conclusion, Unnecessary verb
apply
although
having a gun
is important; it might led
to Change the verb form
lead
be led
Correct your spelling
adverse
advers
Correct your spelling
adverse
Correct your spelling
effects
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
of
MatahariChange preposition
on
Submitted by salwafahanim on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and linking words to better connect your ideas. For instance, you could use phrases like 'in addition,' 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' to create smoother transitions between points.
Task Achievement
You should also work on expanding your main points with more detailed explanations and supporting examples. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing. For example, you could provide specific incident reports or statistical data to support your points about the misuse of guns and their impact on public safety.
General Writing Quality
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary use. Minor errors like 'complitery' instead of 'completely' and 'assiciated' instead of 'associated' can detract from the overall quality of your essay. Consider revising and proofreading your work to eliminate such errors.
Task Achievement
Your essay clearly presents a position on the issue, and you have provided main points supporting your stance.
Introduction and Conclusion
The conclusion is present and reflects the points made in the essay, providing a sense of closure.
Logical Structure
You have logically structured responses, moving from one point to another in a reasonably clear manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.