Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, mature people find computer
games
engaging and they spend their leisure time
playing such
kinds of games
. From my perspective, these are made in a certain way to provide sense
of pleasure Add an article
a sense
however
it has negative effects. In this
essay, reasons for this
trend as well as
drawbacks will be discussed.
The animated gaming is at its zenith because of the technological improvements in the field of graphics. Due to
this
, animation makes its users feel that they are a part of it. They feel appeased when they win the game
however
when they lose, it pressurizes them even more to win the game
. Thus
, they become addicted to such
types of games
. For example
, there are many video games
that are related to a war kind of environment such
as Free Fire. In fact, the user controls one of the soldiers and teams up with his friends to attack the other team in it. It is played with peers and many people enjoy spending free time
playing it. In turn, it helps them to while
away form
their busy schedule.
Correct your spelling
from
On the contrary
, computer games
have some negative outcomes. Some individuals get so engrossed in these activities that they lose the
track of their precious Correct article usage
apply
time
and it results in forming bad habits. They never value the importance of time
and their mind gets affected by the way they play and communicate in the game
. To exemplify, in India, a news reporter described a story of a person who was convicted of felony charges of killing his father who was not allowing him to play game
. The violence happening in the Correct article usage
a game
game
had a deep impact on his thinking.
To conclude
, undoubtedly, computer games
are helping a lot of adults to feel relaxed. On the other hand
, it also
wastes important hours of one's life which could have been used towards doing something constructive. Not only it wastes time
but also
it has resulted in behavioural changes. Overall
, gaming should be an occasional event not
a consistent habit.Add the comma(s)
, not
Submitted by Kiran on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the question of why adults play computer games and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, more specific examples and further explanation of some points could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and understandable, but the essay could benefit from more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, explaining broader societal impacts or citing studies could enhance the academic rigor.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and do a good job of framing the essay. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, but some points could be elaborated more thoroughly to provide a stronger argument. For example, delve deeper into the psychological impact of gaming addiction on adults.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the question, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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