Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important to be shared freely? Discuss these views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued by some people that it is an excellent idea to share as much
information
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as possible in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
variety of spheres
such
Linking Words
as research, business and the academic world,
while
Linking Words
others believe that
that
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the
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king
Correct your spelling
kind
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of data should be given for money. Of course, by giving useful
information
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person could facilitate the task for someone,
in
Correct word choice
and in
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the meantime
this
Linking Words
person could earn a good quantity of cash by selling them. On the one hand, when someone can not find
solution
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a solution
the solution
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in
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to
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something and needs help,
individual
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an individual
the individual
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who has that
information
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could make the task easier by providing tips. In the modern world, there are lots of websites which
envolve
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involve
effective
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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, by providing them people can learn
by
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on
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their own and
make done
Verb problem
get
show examples
it easily.
For instance
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, there is a person called Micheal who has his own YouTube channel named "
Dads
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Dad's
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help
Capitalize word
Help
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" which he dedicated
for
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to
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boys who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not have a father. Right
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
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the comments, all subscribers, especially
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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young boys are grateful to Micheal as he made their life easier by providing
that
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apply
show examples
information
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such
Linking Words
as how to tie a tie or even how to fix a technique .
On the other hand
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, not everyone wants to share
information
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for free. For the reason that
,
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apply
show examples
they might have searched for it too long and perhaps it is a valuable thing.
Hence
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they have a feeling of
pitiness
Correct your spelling
pity
to give.
For example
Linking Words
, there are so much of bloggers who sell their
information
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about how to become successful or how to earn money. They do not want to give that data, as it is too valuable for them. Mobilograps selling their course for 200,000 tenge. In conclusion, individuals are not willing to share their own useful
information
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as they want to make
a
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apply
show examples
money on
this
Linking Words
,
while
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others
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
that data as they want to help to crowd.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure but it needs a clearer logical flow between the points. Use linking words to make the connections between your ideas more explicit.
task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly states both views and your opinion. Currently, it primarily outlines one side. A balanced introduction would make your response more complete.
task achievement
Some arguments are underdeveloped and can be elaborated further to support your main idea more comprehensively. Try to develop your points with more details and examples.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to strengthen your points, which is a good practice to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarises the main points of your essay, which is essential for a cohesive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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