Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Having fresh
water
is a fundamental element in our
lives
because it has a direct correlation with
people
's
health
and quality of life.
However
, there has been a growing concern regarding the ever-decreasing of freshwater these days, which has detrimental effects all over the world, irrespective of
people
and flora.
This
is harmful because it contributes to
people
's
health
and ecosystems.
Firstly
, lack of fresh
water
negatively impacts
people
's
health
.
Water
is essential for 
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
livelihood because we use it every day in our daily
lives
.
For example
, drinking
water
or taking a shower, which needs fresh
water
, is crucial for us and if we cannot have fresh
water
, unfortunately, it may lead to the deterioration of our
health
.
Moreover
, fresh
water
is necessary for agriculture.
For instance
, farmers have used
water
to raise their agricultural plants and animals to sell to the supermarket, thereby making money to maintain their
lives
, and getting nutritious vegetables can improve our
lives
.
Last
but not least, fish living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
might be able to struggle with dirty
water
.
This
can result in an attack imperative ecosystem so that we cannot be provided fish or other ocean life in the future. How can we improve restoring fresh
water
? I would like to suggest that we need to give tax benefits to
companies
that are not extremely geared to use tons of
water
. Most
companies
spend
water
to make products or run factories. In that process, a lot of
water
is used and polluted
water
is exposed. So if the governments make policies about giving benefits to
companies
, it seems effective at reducing using
water
.
Therefore
, we should provide restrictions and practical solutions to all global countries and
companies
. In summary,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of fresh
water
has
become
Verb problem
had
show examples
a detrimental impact on our quality of life. In order to tackle
this
issue, the
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
of global countries should implement effective policies. I hope we can maintain fresh
water
as it is beneficial to our
lives
.
Submitted by kchengii on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by organizing your arguments more clearly. Try to use paragraphs to separate different points or ideas, which will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are thoroughly supported with clear, relevant examples. For instance, provide more precise statistics or studies to back up your claims about how water scarcity affects agriculture or human health.
language
Try to diversify your vocabulary and use more complex sentence structures to demonstrate your command of English. This will help make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by explaining the importance of fresh water and the consequences of its shortage.
task achievement
You have identified key areas affected by water scarcity, such as human health, agriculture, and ecosystems, which is crucial for addressing the topic comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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