IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?

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Vehicle possession has escalated dramatically for the
last
 30 years which leads to
traffic
 congestion in many cities in the world. I completely agree with the given statement. Governments should take initiatives to prevent
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
cars
.In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the logic behind
this
 statement and the effective regulations government can take to halt
this
.
To begin
 with,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rapid expansion of modern technology has made our lives so much
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 that we can easily buy new
cars
. The prices of
cars
 have become more affordable.
As a result
,
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 people are
also
 addicted to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 new
cars
. With the increasing number of
cars
,
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 system is in a disastrous position in many countries.
For instance
, in Bangladesh, the rapid rise of automobiles has broken the
traffic
 system. People have to wait 3-4 hours
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 daily which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in hampering productivity. Governments can take initial steps
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
this
 catastrophe and make the situation better. In order to do
this
, cabinets should impose higher taxes on private vehicles.
Along with
this
, they can strict the rules and the regulations to buy automobiles
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 increasing the formalities before buying private
cars
.
For example
, in the USA the government has imposed so many rules that citizens can not buy new vehicles easily.
Moreover
, governments should
also
 develop public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. Because, if the public buses and trains are not convenient to ride,
then
 the other measures will not be fruitful.
To sum up
, in recent years, usage of private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 has
inreased
Correct your spelling
increased
 significantly and it has become a calamity in many countries. So, officials should come forward to solve the problem.
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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully explained and supported with relevant examples. This essay could benefit from more specific examples and elaboration.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, connecting sentences and transitions between paragraphs could be more fluid to enhance the overall flow.
language
Some small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing slightly impact the readability. Proofreading for minor language issues can improve overall clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
logical structure
The main points are logically structured and supported with relevant arguments. Your essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt.
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