In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?
Nowadays, people choose to push back
having
and raising Change preposition
against having
next
generation in certain Correct article usage
the next
countries
. At the same time, however
, there is some uncertainty as to the causes of this
trend and its influence on societal and personal life. In this
essay, I will examine the reasons and impacts of this
development to reach a conclusion.
To begin
with, many young adults prioritize their own career success over family happiness. The delay on
raising their own Change preposition
in
children
indeed provides a buffer, bestowing them enough time to pursue individual achievement. Moreover
, in some densely populated countries
, the drastically increasing house price
and tuition Fix the agreement mistake
prices
fee
make the cost Fix the agreement mistake
fees
to raise
a child unaffordable. Change preposition
of raising
Therefore
, raising kids at earlier
age would bring much financial burden and pressure for young Add an article
an earlier
couples
. In addition
, the increasing financial pressure contribute
to the concept change for young Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
couples
, who prefer to change living regions and explore as much as they can to find a stable place suitable for raising next
generation financially.
Correct article usage
the next
On the other hand
, the government, in the
Correct article usage
apply
countries
with Correct article usage
an aging
aging
population trend Change the spelling
ageing
such
as Japan or China, will inevitably face huge pressure with the reduction of young
Add an article
the young
labor
force. Change the spelling
labour
However
, these young couples
, which
have made informed decisions before settling down, would be more mentally mature and responsible for taking care of Fix the agreement mistake
who
their
next generation. Change the word
the
Additionally
, after accumulating enough wealth and achieving personal success, these young couples
can promise their children
better access to educational resources and better companionship with their children
. Children
would be better off growing up in virtuous
family setting.
To summarize, the reasons for delay Correct article usage
a virtuous
on
raising Change preposition
in
children
in particular
countries
could be second priority, heavy financial burden, and concept change. At the same time, the influence could bring burden
to local government yet beneficial for Correct article usage
a burden
children
's growth.Submitted by erminelyu on
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task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing the reasons for delayed parenthood and its effects on society and family life. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points, such as mentioning particular career fields or financial data that highlight the rising costs of living and education.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the reader’s engagement. For example, linking the financial burden discussed in the second paragraph more directly to the societal impacts mentioned in the third paragraph would strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
Better organization of points could enhance clarity. Consider addressing all reasons in one paragraph and all effects in another. This would help in creating a more structured flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the essay's purpose and offers a good preview of the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the central argument, providing a satisfying end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and effects of the trend, showcasing an understanding of the topic from multiple angles.
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