some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views
Currently,
people
have different views as to whether a lot of people
trust that students
should learn science
classes. However
, others believe that other subjects
as well as
history
are also
beneficial for them. Despite the fact that history
and other subjects
are very significant for some people
, I believe that science
will play a crucial role in real life
in the future.
On the one hand, history
and other subjects
are interesting for a lot of students
. This
is due to
the fact that students
have different talents and they have various interests in each individual. For example
, some students
can paint and draw pictures, they will think that art is necessary for them. In addition
, some children like reading about world history
, they usually think that history
is important to them. Therefore
, the benefits of subjects
will depend on the favorite
of individuals.
Change the spelling
favourite
On the other hand
, a lot of people
think that students
should be paying attention to science
. This
is because science
relates to part of people
's lives. For instance
, when people
play football , they have to know about momentum to shoot the ball into the goal. Moreover
, science
will be logical in everything. This
is due to
the fact that students
can analyze and resolve problems by themselves. For example
, when children have to learn in university, they can use it for their thesis. As a result
, science
subjects
are the most basic for students
.
In conclusion, in my perspective, science
subjects
are fundamental for everybody's life
because science
is the basis of nature and human life
is a part of nature. Thus
, if we know about science
, it could support everything in our life
.Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly with the use of transition words. For example, instead of starting a sentence with "this is because", you can use transitions such as "furthermore" or "moreover" to connect ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more detailed and specific examples. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your points clearer and more convincing. Try to use a variety of examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and you have presented both views, which is essential for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay and your main points are well organized, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?