In this day and age,it is considered by plethora of individuals that characters are impacted by environment rather than genetics.This is the very correlation between biosphere and generations that affect to the humans situation. There are two principal reasons for this.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age,it is considered by
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
of individuals that characters are impacted by environment rather than genetics.
This
Linking Words
is the very correlation between
biosphere
Correct article usage
the biosphere
show examples
and generations that affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
humans
Change to a genitive case
human's
humans'
show examples
situation. There are two principal reasons for
this
Linking Words
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
viewpoint because
character
Use synonyms
is altered always by
spmething
Correct your spelling
something
that
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
commence
Correct subject-verb agreement
commences
show examples
to influence good or bad sides.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
will sense on cloud nine,if
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
is fine.But,
people
Use synonyms
cannot always feel immensely grateful,they destroy
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
,it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's worse behaviour
also
Linking Words
,death.Many
people
Use synonyms
see fresh
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
such
Linking Words
kind of sunny ,rainy ,clear skies,heavy clouds,light winds and so on.
People
Use synonyms
go to the picnic
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
hot and humid weather.They have a good mood,let alone
character
Use synonyms
.If it were not for
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are like
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
,they would not have changed their characters and they are always been
emotional
Change the word
emotionally
show examples
wreek
Correct your spelling
week
wreck
wreak
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
's genetics play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in their life expectancy.
For example
Linking Words
,their line
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
Use synonyms
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
show examples
that
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot
disappearance
Replace the word
disappear
show examples
. They are negative or mover and shaker by virtue of their genetics
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
various
Use synonyms
character
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
. In a nutshell,
people
Use synonyms
how their
character
Use synonyms
will be
as well as
Linking Words
Rephrase
how its
show examples
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
relate
Correct subject-verb agreement
relates
show examples
themselves
Change preposition
to themselves
show examples
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, but the arguments are not always fully developed. Try to provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points flow logically from one to the next. Use transition phrases to link your ideas more coherently.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly. Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more variety in sentence structures.
task achievement
You make a clear attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is great.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion attempts to summarize your main points, which helps to bring closure to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: