Some people feel that playing computer games has a nagative impact on children's health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.
The advancement in technology has created an evolution in the field of computers and the invention of
computer
game
is a by-product of Fix the agreement mistake
games
this
process. Although
some people believe that computer
game affects the development of a child others are of the opinion that it benefits children
in future. This
essay will discuss these two arguments in detail.
Playing computer
games
have
adverse effects Correct subject-verb agreement
has
among
Change preposition
on
children
especially affecting their physical as well as
mental health. Moreover
, too much focus on computer
games
can deteriorate their social skills
because of less
interactions with other individuals. Change the quantifier
fewer
For example
, a recent study in Australia says that young boys and girls who spent
more than four hours Wrong verb form
spend
of
a day on Change preposition
apply
computer
games
are introverts due to
less communication. Therefore
, it is conspicuous that these types of games
have bad
influence during the growing phase of a child.
Correct article usage
a bad
On the contrary
, playing games
on the computer
enhances the intelligence and analytical capabilities of children
. This
is because children
tend to apply the whole concentration while
playing games
which improves their analytical thinking that will ultimately be helpful in their future careers. For example
, games
like Sudoku and Chess Master are wholly dependent on intellectual skills
and the presence of mind; even child counsellors suggest playing these games
. Therefore
, it is an undeniable fact that games
available on computers or mobiles are beneficial to develop
Wrong verb form
developing
skills
required in future.
In conclusion, computer
games
now form an integral part of today’s children
. This
essay discussed that even though computer
games
play a significant role in the development of intellectual skills
, increased usage can harm child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
overall
growth.Submitted by gloriasherin on
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task achievement
Your essay delivers a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both perspectives on the topic. However, try to provide a more balanced number of examples and evidence for each viewpoint to strengthen your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the logical flow and make your points more distinct. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
grammar vocabulary
Review proper punctuation and singular/plural forms in your essay. For instance, the use of 'game' versus 'games' needs to be consistent depending on the context.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which are present and appropriately structured.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a good overview of the topic and engages the reader by presenting the two contrasting viewpoints.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more compelling and credible.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?