Food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. some people believe we should buy food from local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Handful
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A handful
show examples
of
people
opine that
food
products should be bought from local farmers rather than buying it from big
corporates
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corporations
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which
made
Wrong verb form
make
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food
travel thousands of miles before getting into
hands
Correct article usage
the hands
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of their
cosumers
Correct your spelling
customers
. Buying
food
from local markets is
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
advantageous and
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the disadvantages. On the one hand, when
people
buy
food
from
local
Correct article usage
the local
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market
this
will give
much
Correct article usage
a much
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required economic boost to small
famers
Correct your spelling
farmers
as
this
will abolish middlemen who get
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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of money in the form of
commision
Correct your spelling
commission
.
In addition
to
this
, buyers will get fresh
food
direct
Replace the word
directly
show examples
from the farm rather than preserved which lacks
in
Change preposition
apply
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nutrients
due to
long preservance.
Also
, these
food
products
got
Verb problem
have
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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chances
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chance
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of contamination if kept for
longer
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a longer
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time which
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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health
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the health
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of young ones and adults at risk.
On the other hand
, bringing
food
into
customer
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customers
show examples
hands from longer
distance
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distances
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need
greater
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a greater
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workforce which will be out of
job
Correct article usage
the job
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if
food
is bought directly from local
famer
Correct your spelling
farmers
Famer
and
market
Wrong verb form
marketed
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by
buyer
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buyers
show examples
.
This
will be
destrcutive
Correct your spelling
destructive
for
economy
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the economy
show examples
and social balance as it will generate
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
populace of unemployed
people
.
For instance
, one of the
post COVID
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post-COVID
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surveys
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
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that
people
associated directly or indirectly with
food
Correct article usage
the food
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industry were the worst affected when
food
Correct article usage
the food
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chain supply got hit during
pandemic
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a pandemic
the pandemic
show examples
. In conclusion, it can be said that merits over demerits can't ignored as
this
will get buyers and sellers unprecedented benefits by abolishing
commisioners
Correct your spelling
commissioners
who can be held responsible for
bad
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the bad
show examples
economic
condition
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conditions
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of small farmers.
Submitted by dhindsa.randeep on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure the ideas flow logically from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph support that topic. This will help maintain coherence and cohesion throughout your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed all parts of the task and your response is generally clear. However, make sure to balance your arguments better and provide more detailed examples to support your main points.
task achievement
It’s important to avoid repetitive ideas. Try to introduce fresh points or elaborate more on the existing ones for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You've fully addressed the task prompt and made a clear argument for why buying local food is advantageous.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • local economy
  • self-sustainability
  • preservatives
  • food waste
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • monoculture
  • local produce
  • nutritional value
What to do next:
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