Food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. some people believe we should buy food from local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
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Handful
of Add an article
A handful
people
opine that food
products should be bought from local farmers rather than buying it from big corporates
which Replace the word
corporations
made
Wrong verb form
make
food
travel thousands of miles before getting into hands
of their Correct article usage
the hands
cosumers
. Buying Correct your spelling
customers
food
from local markets is definately
advantageous and Correct your spelling
definitely
outweigh
the disadvantages.
On the one hand, when Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
people
buy food
from local
market Correct article usage
the local
this
will give much
required economic boost to small Correct article usage
a much
famers
as Correct your spelling
farmers
this
will abolish middlemen who get handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
amount
of money in the form of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
commision
. Correct your spelling
commission
In addition
to this
, buyers will get fresh food
direct
from the farm rather than preserved which lacks Replace the word
directly
in
nutrients Change preposition
apply
due to
long preservance. Also
, these food
products got
Verb problem
have
high
Correct article usage
a high
chances
of contamination if kept for Fix the agreement mistake
chance
longer
time which Add an article
a longer
put
Wrong verb form
puts
health
of young ones and adults at risk.
Add an article
the health
On the other hand
, bringing food
into customer
hands from longer Fix the agreement mistake
customers
distance
need Fix the agreement mistake
distances
greater
workforce which will be out of Add an article
a greater
job
if Correct article usage
the job
food
is bought directly from local famer
and Correct your spelling
farmers
Famer
market
by Wrong verb form
marketed
buyer
. Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
This
will be destrcutive
for Correct your spelling
destructive
economy
and social balance as it will generate Add an article
the economy
larger
populace of unemployed Correct article usage
a larger
people
. For instance
, one of the post COVID
surveys Add a hyphen
post-COVID
suggest
that Change the verb form
suggests
people
associated directly or indirectly with food
industry were the worst affected when Correct article usage
the food
food
chain supply got hit during Correct article usage
the food
pandemic
.
In conclusion, it can be said that merits over demerits can't ignored as Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
this
will get buyers and sellers unprecedented benefits by abolishing commisioners
who can be held responsible for Correct your spelling
commissioners
bad
economic Add an article
the bad
condition
of small farmers.Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
Submitted by dhindsa.randeep on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure the ideas flow logically from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph support that topic. This will help maintain coherence and cohesion throughout your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed all parts of the task and your response is generally clear. However, make sure to balance your arguments better and provide more detailed examples to support your main points.
task achievement
It’s important to avoid repetitive ideas. Try to introduce fresh points or elaborate more on the existing ones for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You've fully addressed the task prompt and made a clear argument for why buying local food is advantageous.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.