Some people think that young people should follow older people's examples. Others believe it is quite natural for teenagers to challenge what old people say. Describe both point of views. Give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples.
Respecting the elders is universally agreed as a virtue,
however
, nowadays it is believed that young people
should challenge some old concepts which are outdated. I partially agree with both ideas. This
essay will first look at the arguments for respecting the
Correct article usage
apply
senior
before turning to those Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
against
.
There is an old Chinese saying, "The elder is the treasure in a family." With the rich experience from life, the senior is a mirror of the young generation. Correct pronoun usage
against them
People
can refer to their ancestors' scucess
Correct your spelling
success
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
learn from the lessons of the
failures. Change the word
their
For instance
, without examples from the elders, some traditional skills may be lost. Older people
's examples often come from a place of experience and wisdom, and following them can help young people
avoid common pitfalls in life.
On the other hand
, with the starling pace of changes in the current era, many old norms and traditions are considered conservative or even proved
to be unscientific. To cite just one example, in some Asian countries, old Correct your spelling
proven
people
tend to prefer boys to girls because they believe boys can carry on the bloodline inheritance and shoulder more responsibilities. However
, with an open mind and a far-sight
living in the modern age, Correct your spelling
far-sighted
people
should advocate for sexual equality. With the progress of society, some opposition voices can also
become a driving force of societal development.
To conclude
, we should respect some societal norms and values established by the old
generations that can provide a strong moral compass for the youth, meanwhile, Fix the agreement mistake
older
by
challenging older Change preposition
apply
people
's outdated views can encourage critical thinking and personal growth.Submitted by carriexue23 on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure clarity in sentences by avoiding minor grammatical issues, such as 'scucess' which should be 'success,' and 'starling' which should be 'startling.'
supported main points
Consider elaborating more on each main point to provide a deeper exploration of the arguments for and against following elders' examples.
logical structure
Enhance the cohesiveness by using more transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has an effective introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the viewpoints.
logical structure
Good logical progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant specific examples are provided to illustrate the points made, such as the reference to practices in Asian countries regarding gender preferences.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite