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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is true that
children
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 are frequently given the notion that they can accomplish anything if they
work
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 hard enough.
While
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this
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 has some advantages, it
also
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 has certain drawbacks that must be taken into consideration. On the one
had
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hand
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,
this
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 can
helps
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help
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children
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 develop their confidence and motivation. When youngsters are encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything with their efforts, they are more likely to
success
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succeed
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on
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in
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 difficult tasks and setbacks.
This
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 can help them acquire important skills
such
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 as problem-solving
skill
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skills
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, critical-thinking
skill
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skills
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, and a growth mindset.
For instance
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, a child who is told that he or she can achieve anything may be more willing to take on new challenges. If
children
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 want to learn a new skill or participate in an activity that they are not
familar
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familiar
 with, they may be more likely to try if they have the belief that they can succeed ultimately with hard
work
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 and resilience.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some potential disadvantages to
this
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 message.
Firstly
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, it may set unrealistic expectations for
children
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, particularly if they are not given enough resources or opportunities to succeed.
Secondly
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, if
children
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 are constantly told that they can achieve anything through simply hard
work
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, it may lead them to overlook the role of other factors
such
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 as education, luck, and so on.
This
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 could eventually result in feelings of frustration if they do not achieve the outcomes they desire. In conclusion,
while
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 the view that
children
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 can achieve anything through hard
work
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 has several advantages in terms of building confidence and motivation, it is vital to consider the potential shortcomings as well. Parents and teachers should keep
motivate
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motivating
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 young
children
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 to
work
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 hard but
also
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 take other factors into consideration.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that all ideas are well-connected. Use more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Avoid vague statements and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and relatable.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents a clear understanding of the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced perspective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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