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Band 4

Soundlands main exports in 2000, and 2024, and future projections for 2035.

#soundlands #exports #future #projections
Southlands major freights in the past, which were the
2000's
Change noun form
2000s
show examples
, in the present, which is 2024, and in the future, which will be 2035.
Overall
, the bar chart is separated into 3 years, which are
also
 divided into 3 aspects, which we should consider. It is important to note that meat
products
 weren’t that popular in the past, present, or future.
However
, dairy
products
 and international tourism are fighting for the podium as Southlands’ main exports. In the
2000’s
Fix apostrophe usage
2000s
show examples
, international tourism was at 8.1
billion
-
pounds
 sterling;
however
, by 2024, it had risen by 9
billion
pounds
, making the
revenue
 rise by 1
billion
, which is a great sum considering that only 24 years have passed since the
2000’s
Fix apostrophe usage
2000s
show examples
. Via 2035, it will be obvious that international tourism has won the rivalry, with
revenue
 accumulating to $10
billion
. Dairy and meat
products
 did not start off great, as they both had 6-7
billion
 in the 2000s. Meat
products
 were not that popular among the Southlanders, and in the following
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it would be obvious, because in 2024 the
revenue
 decreased to 500 million
pounds
, and it will keep decreasing to 5
billion
-
pounds
 sterling. Dairy
products
 started off nicely, with an accumulated
revenue
 of $7
billion
, and it
arose
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 to $10
billion
 by 2024.
However
, it will drop by 500 million in 2035.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear and concise conclusion to wrap up your essay. This will enhance your logical structure and give a sense of completeness to your response.
task achievement
Be careful with the time expressions and monetary units. Consistency and accuracy will make your points clearer and more understandable.
task achievement
Some sections of the essay could benefit from additional clarification. For example, explaining why dairy products' revenue will drop by 2035 could make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively organized your essay into past, present, and future, which provides a logical framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You supported your main points with specific data, making your essay informative and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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