The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts

compares

Change the verb form

compare

show examples

the percentages of the online

shoppinf

Correct your spelling

shopping

sales for retail shoppers in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013.

Overall

, travel and clothes experienced a decrease in their

mrket

Correct your spelling

market

whereas

other items saw a moderate

increase

from 2003 to 2013.

However

, the

increase

in the

of film or music was more

dramamtic

Correct your spelling

dramatic

than books. Starting at 36% in 2003, the percentage of travel fell to just under 30% in the following 10 years and lost its position as the greatest retail sale in 2013.

Conversely

, the

of film or music in the retail sector experienced a considerable

increase

of 12% from 21% in 2003 to 33%

Change preposition

apply

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ten years later, exhibiting a noteworthy upsurge over the decade, becoming the greatest shopping item in 2013.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the fall in the

clothes'

Change noun form

clothes

show examples

market

was modest, moving from 24% to 16% over the same period. The

of books in

online

Correct article usage

the online

show examples

retail market witnessed a small

increase

of 3% from 2003 to 2013.

Submitted by hesam.kord.f on Sun May 19 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words share, increase with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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