IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The presented double-line
grapgh
Correct your spelling
graph
 concerns
with
Change preposition
apply
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the available resources and
demand
Use synonyms
 for fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuels
 in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005.
In
Change preposition
From
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 an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is obvious that in the first 10 years of
this
Linking Words
 20-year
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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 the rate of Energy
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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 has a falling pattern as
apposed
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opposed
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 to the sources that show a steady increase. In the
secend 10-year
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second 10 years
pf
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of
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 the period ,
however
Linking Words
, a vice versa pattern can be seen where the demands
grows
Change the verb form
grow
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 and energy lowers over the course of time. Taking on a hellicopter view,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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at the
begenning
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beginning
 of the graph the
demand
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 started at a higher rate than available
fule
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fuel
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it experienced a falling trend, stayed steady for 5 years
in
Change preposition
at
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 the bottom and started increasing to its peak in 2005.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the available sources began with a growing pattern, peaked in 1995, had a sharp fall to almost 3 units in 2000 and stayed constant
to
Change preposition
until
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 the end of the graph. Looking into details, it is
noticeabale
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that there are two points
of
Change preposition
in
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 time that the
demand
Use synonyms
 line meets the available sources once in 1986 and the other in 1999 at 4 and 3 units respectively. The widest difference between
demand
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 and fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuel
 units takes place in 1995 with the
fule
Correct your spelling
full
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 rate being 3 times higher than
demand
Use synonyms
. I

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words demand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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