IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#demand #energy #fuels #freedonia #report #university #lecturer #information
The presented double-line
grapgh
Correct your spelling
graph
 concerns
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the available resources and
demand
 for fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuels
 in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 an
overall
 perspective, it is obvious that in the first 10 years of
this
 20-year
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 the rate of Energy
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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 has a falling pattern as
apposed
Correct your spelling
opposed
show examples
 to the sources that show a steady increase. In the
secend 10-year
Correct your spelling
second 10 years
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the period ,
however
, a vice versa pattern can be seen where the demands
grows
Change the verb form
grow
show examples
 and energy lowers over the course of time. Taking on a hellicopter view,
it is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
at the
begenning
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the graph the
demand
 started at a higher rate than available
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
.
However
, it experienced a falling trend, stayed steady for 5 years
in
Change preposition
at
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 the bottom and started increasing to its peak in 2005.
On the contrary
, the available sources began with a growing pattern, peaked in 1995, had a sharp fall to almost 3 units in 2000 and stayed constant
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the graph. Looking into details, it is
noticeabale
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that there are two points
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time that the
demand
 line meets the available sources once in 1986 and the other in 1999 at 4 and 3 units respectively. The widest difference between
demand
 and fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuel
 units takes place in 1995 with the
fule
Correct your spelling
full
show examples
 rate being 3 times higher than
demand
. I
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words demand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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