Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

In modern conditions, developing countries try to become live
better
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a better
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life in their own country. Haven, some attempts more successful and five opportunities for their citizens to
goverament
Correct your spelling
government
governments
need
difterent
Correct your spelling
different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of help
such
as financial and practical
aid
from international organizations. Some individual think that it is useless sponsoring poor countries and more practical and resultative will be just give some piece of advice. In my essay, I will discuss both
type
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types
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of view. Usually developing states are faced with various types of problems
such
as corruption and unworking legislation on the way to improve
economy
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the economy
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. A lot of international
organization
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organizations
show examples
take the possibility to solve
such
kind of negative impact on development with financial
aid
.
Firstly
, as was mentioned before that type of puzzle - corruption can
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be difficulties
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difficulties
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difficult
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when an enormous bunch of money
will come
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
regularly and without additional control. For instant, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount it global
foundation
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foundations
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trying to help Ukraine with social, economic, political, and ecological aspects
creates
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create
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grants for supporting people. Unfortunately, nearly 30 per cent of
this
money was stolen by the government.
Then
, some states do not need to develop economic aspects, because they
faced
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are faced
show examples
with social problems.
For example
, Japan is one of the richest
country
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countries
show examples
in Asia, but the Japanese stand up to
low
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a low
the low
show examples
rate of birth. In my opinion, in
this
situation, the helpful way to solve
this
will be to give valuable advice.
On the other hand
, living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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dynamic world with
long
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a long
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history the best
aid
is
historical
Correct article usage
the historical
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past of formation the strong
economy
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economic
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state. As
,
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apply
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the Estonian legal scholars adopted the Family Code which consists of 70% of the German Civil and Family Act. In
this
strategic path, Estonia removed the gaps in the legislation. In conclusion, the way that international organizations are
choosing
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on the different conditions in which states are growing. But,whatever
aid
path foundations choose, everyone should have their own result.
Submitted by yuliakozhevnik13 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that is introduced in the topic sentence.
task achievement
The introduction previews both viewpoints, which is good. However, it should be more polished and free from grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your main points need more specific and relevant examples to effectively support your arguments. For instance, explaining more about how financial aid has succeeded or failed in specific countries would help.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to reduce grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. For instance, "trying to become live better life" should be corrected to "trying to achieve a better life."
task achievement
You have some insightful ideas on both sides of the argument, which shows depth in your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which help to frame your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • developing countries
  • financial help
  • international organizations
  • practical aid
  • technical assistance
  • vocational training
  • sustainable development
  • dependency
  • misuse
  • corruption
  • empower communities
  • local skills
  • targeted solutions
  • flexibility
  • capacity-building
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