IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts bellow give information about travel to and from UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

The charts bellow give information about travel to and from UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.
#bellow #information #travel #uk #countries #residents #visit
The
figuers
Correct your spelling
figures
 illustrate the data about the
UK
 as a travel destination
as well as
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
tourists
 that visited different nations over a
20-years
Correct your spelling
20-year
 period.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
UK
 citizens were excited about travelling to other countries
instead
 of staying in their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
.
Also
, France and Spain were the most popular
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
 among them. First of all, in 1979 the rate of
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
tourists
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at almost the same level
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 people who came from other nations to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England with only about 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
. In the next 5 years
besids
Correct your spelling
besides
beside
 a minor growth in foreign
tourists
 number, the rate of travelling to outside of the
UK
 got doubled in1989. From 1984 to 1999, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK
visitors
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a dramatic
surged
Replace the word
surge
show examples
 which increased
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than one-third per cent and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
52
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
.
However
, over
this
 period the rate of
visitors
 from outside rose gradually and
was seen
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
 a 15% rise in total. Second of all, in 1999 , France was the most popular destination for
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 citizens with more than 11
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
.
Furthermore
, Spain with 4
millions less
Fix the agreement mistake
million fewer
show examples
tourists
 in comparison to France stood in the
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 most attractive
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
.
However
, Turkey with only 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was the least popular place
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 people.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, tourists, millions, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: