IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line chart below shows the effect of vaccination on the number of reported cases of whooping cough, a childhood disease, in Britain.

The line chart below shows the effect of vaccination on the number of reported cases of whooping cough, a childhood disease, in Britain.
#line #effect #vaccination #cases #cough #childhood #disease #britain
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph compares the influence of
vaccination
Use synonyms
 on
spread
Add an article
the spread
a spread
show examples
 of whooping cough among children in Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a vivid decrease in the rate of reposted cases of the illness after
vaccination
Use synonyms
 took place in 1995.
In addition
Linking Words
, an indirect relation between the rate of
vaccination
Use synonyms
 and reported cases can be seen. The more
vaccination
Use synonyms
 grows, the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cases are reported. Broadly speaking, before 1995 , the starting point of
vaccination
Use synonyms
, the
statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
show examples
 showed a highly fluctuated spread of whooping cough.
However
Linking Words
, The fluctuation took on a decreasing pattern by the end of the graph. Looking
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
Correct article usage
the datils
show examples
datils
Correct your spelling
details
show examples
 of
vaccination
Use synonyms
, it starts with a five-year steady period at 81% followed by a sharp fall to 30% in 1975. Right after the great reduction. statistics showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 evergrowing trend
reachinng
Correct your spelling
reaching
 94% by the end of the graph.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words vaccination with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: