IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some that
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 at the degree level should learn various alternative
subjects
Use synonyms
, others believe that they should focus on studying their main courses only.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss these two contrasting views using relevant examples and the former of
this
Linking Words
 statement should be prioritised. On the one hand, everyone should have the freedom to select their other favourite
subjects
Use synonyms
 apart from their qualifications. If
students
Use synonyms
 concentrate on the same thing always, they will feel bored and stressed because there are no activities to make them relax.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some people can bring knowledge from more than one subject to do the second job, resulting in an increase in the number of revenues.
For example
Linking Words
, people who graduated in the United States of America could do double major
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as science and economics to choose several careers in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 should be studious and
firstly
Linking Words
 pay attention to their main materials. There are typical problems found in many
students
Use synonyms
 worldwide that they cannot manage their routine and
then
Linking Words
 do not pass main exams.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in several topics, learners must practise more than one time to understand some complicated materials, leading to the success of specialised courses, and it is more effective learning to have in-depth knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
, the education system in the United Kingdom encourages their youths to select their interesting
subjects
Use synonyms
 and focus on these materials because they desire that people can access the core of the qualification. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 studying various
subjects
Use synonyms
 offers many advantages, from my perspective, it is important that everyone should concentrate on their qualification in university. If they prefer learning several optional courses, time management will be the most fundamental factor for them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to add more specific examples to illustrate your points better. For instance, instead of just mentioning that knowledge from multiple subjects can increase revenues, you could specify how integrating knowledge from different fields can lead to innovative solutions or new career opportunities.
supported main points
While your ideas are clear, try to ensure that your main points are equally supported. The second paragraph could benefit from more development and specific details to match the depth of the first paragraph.
complete response
You provided a balanced discussion of both views and a clear opinion in the conclusion. This effectively completes the task.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion that restates your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: