IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people’s #lives
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Over the recent decades,
technology
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have
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has
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 been greatly advanced and significantly
effected
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affected
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 people’s lives. I believe that
such
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 progress has provided us with convenience and efficiency, offering benefits that traditional equipment cannot match.
However
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, the advancements have
also
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 led
a
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to a
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host of new challenges and problems
such
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 as growing dependency on digital devices and privacy concerns. Current
technology
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make
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makes
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 people’s lives more convenient and efficient by furnishing them with digital communication tools and allowing them to access instant information at
fingertips
Correct pronoun usage
their fingertips
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.
First,
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advanced electronic devices like
smartphone
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smartphones
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,
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apply
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enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
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 users to facilitate daily
travels
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travel
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 by downloading various apps,
such
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 as Alipay,
Didi
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and Didi
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taxis
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Taxis
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 online, which both save time and improve efficiency.
Besides
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, thanks to the improvement of
Internet
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the Internet
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, people are able to get handy news and participate in social issues more rapidly.
For instance
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, people could only learn about information through traditional media
such
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 as
newspaper
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newspapers
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 and
radios
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radio
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 in the past days, which often took a whole day to spread. With the evolution of network
technology
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, the channels for information dissemination have become more diversified, any news events can be promptly reported on social media platforms and spark heated public discussions. It is generally confirmed that major advances in
technology
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 enhance connectivity and productivity, but there
are
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is
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also
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 potential damage that cannot be ignored. Since the level of technological development has greatly exceeded before, people have become more dependent on electronic devices. What’s worse, excessive addiction to the Internet may
also
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 have
adverse
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an adverse
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 impact on mental and physical health
,
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apply
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 and
led
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lead
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 to a decline
of
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in
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 face-to-face interaction.
In addition
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,
it
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there
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 has been a rising concern that our privacy would be disclosed
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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advanced
technology
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,
such
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 as AI
clone
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clones
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 and Deepfake. In conclusion, I believe that advanced
technology
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 has made a difference
on
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in
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 people’s lives through
development
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the development
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 of electronic
technology
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 and social media. But we should
also
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 be aware of
the
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apply
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its possible drawbacks and take personal security into consideration.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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grammar
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'technology have' instead of 'technology has'.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, consider addressing counterarguments more explicitly for a balanced response.
coherence and cohesion
Add transitional phrases to improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states a position and addresses the question effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well structured, effectively framing your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your main points, particularly in illustrating the benefits of technology.
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