Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While
many believe that renovation of old buildings
can be costly, others argue that by knocked
down the old Change the form of the verb
knocking
one
and rebuilding modern structures is Correct pronoun usage
ones
considering
to be an appropriate approach. The reasons why I agree with Wrong verb form
considered
latter
statement will be elaborated on in Correct article usage
the latter
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that renovating can be somewhat
Correct article usage
a somewhat
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
ways
and fixing accurate Fix the agreement mistake
way
spot
. Fix the agreement mistake
spots
This
is possibly because they view that not all ancient buildings
are aged as if it deserted. If proper maintenance or re-decoration were encountered, some may still in
Add a missing verb
be in
a
good condition and prolong Correct article usage
apply
its
usage. Take some historical Correct pronoun usage
their
buildings
, for example
; .
Change the punctuation
;
.
However
, many opponent
of Change to a plural noun
opponents
this
idea might oppose
that they rather create a whole new place than Verb problem
argue
adjusting
the interior when they Wrong verb form
adjust
takes
safety Change the verb form
take
in to
consideration. Join the words
into
For instance
, some buildings
looked fragile as if it was going to collaspe
sooner or later. In Correct your spelling
collapse
this
respect, rebuilding the new one
is a proper solution to create
Wrong verb form
creating
Add an article
the well
a well
well fortified
base Add a hyphen
well-fortified
of
the building Change preposition
for
as well as
to creating
a limitless design of Wrong verb form
create
one
's choice.
Therefore
, I personally argue in favour of remove
Wrong verb form
removing
previous
plan and Correct article usage
the previous
create
Wrong verb form
creating
new
Correct article usage
a new
one
seeing that it offer
a desirable ideal plan and conveniently Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
fixing
Wrong verb form
fixes
error
system. Correct article usage
the error
To simply
explain, some older Change preposition
Simply
version
of the building may have a wrong setting of water piping or electrical wiring system which can be hardly Fix the agreement mistake
versions
maintenance
unless Replace the word
maintained
rebuilt
the whole Verb problem
apply
one
. To exemplify, a
In summary, although
it is undeniable that renovating can beneficial
in terms of construction costs I am of the opinion that building a whole construction in order to achieve the dreamed plans.Add a missing verb
be beneficial
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coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks clarity in some places, and a more logical structure is needed. Improve your logical flow of ideas by including clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly present and restate your position in a more comprehensive manner.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, explain specific historical buildings which benefited from renovation or examples where new buildings proved to be more beneficial.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are clear and comprehensive. Avoid abrupt endings to your paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
The writer provides reasons and justifications for their opinion, even though they require further elaboration.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.