many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. others believe that there are health benefits of living cities Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities

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It is becoming increasingly prevalent for individuals to hold

Correct article usage

the

show examples

view that

people

Use synonyms

living in rural

areas

Use synonyms

will have a healthier

lifestyle

Use synonyms

than

people

Use synonyms

who live in urban

areas

Use synonyms

Incontrast

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In contrast

, sceptics

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that there are several health advantages for city inhabitants.

This

Linking Words

writer argues that having a healthy

lifestyle

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is much

Change the word

apply

show examples

easier when living in

Use synonyms

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

because of

unpolluted

Correct article usage

the unpolluted

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environment and

freshfood

Correct your spelling

fresh food

fresh-food

suppliment

Correct your spelling

supplement

. It is vital to understand that there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

less pollution in rural

areas

Use synonyms

than

urban

Change preposition

in urban

show examples

ones. To be more specific, the amount of

vehicles'

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicle'

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exhausts

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exhaust

show examples

and

factories'

Fix the agreement mistake

factory'

show examples

emissions in the

countryside

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are not as much as

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

city's ones

due to

Linking Words

low population density.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, the rural

areas

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will have fresher air and help inhabitants to avoid lung diseases.

Moreover

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

agriculture is more developed in the

countryside

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also

Linking Words

agricultural sewages are usually

biodegradeble

Correct your spelling

biodegradable

, so those activities will not lead to pollution and provide

people

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Add the preposition

with a

show examples

healthy life.

However

Linking Words

, sceptics believe that urban

areas

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provide citizens

better

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with better

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healthcare services.

This

Linking Words

belief

based

Add a missing verb

is based

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on the

technology

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technological

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innovation in medication, there would be more machines and techniques will be possibly invented to cure illness. Not only that, but the hospital along will medical services

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

modernized in order to improve human

aminities

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amenities

This

Linking Words

may be true but diseases stem from the harmful

lifestyle

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and pollutants from different sources which

usally

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usually

exist in cities leading to the involvement of various healthcare services. So in the

countryside

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with less pollution will minimize the menace of getting diseases.

This

Linking Words

is the writers' point of view, it is better to live in rural

areas

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because it provides individuals

fresh

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with fresh

show examples

natural

food

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sources.

Explaning

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Explaining

further

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

does not contain any

subtances

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substances

to maintain or enhance the

food

Use synonyms

quality. So on, individuals would not be affected by those poisons, chemicals keeping inhabitants away from sickness and

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

them a healthy life.

According to

Linking Words

reasearch

Correct your spelling

research

in 2015, the health status and lifespan of

people

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live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

Use synonyms

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

are higher than

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

urban

Change preposition

of urban

show examples

citizens

due to

Linking Words

the quality of

food

Use synonyms

that they

consumed

Wrong verb form

consume

show examples

throughout their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, decontaminated nature and fresh

food

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suppliments

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supplements

supplies

are essential points to be

noticable

Correct your spelling

noticeable

. It should have been demonstrated that it is better to live in

Use synonyms

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

Correct your spelling

order

oder

Correct your spelling

order

to lead a healthy

lifestyle

Use synonyms

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Mon May 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical transitions between paragraphs. Each paragraph should flow smoothly from one to the next. This makes the essay easier to follow and more coherent.

task achievement

Ensure that all points are supported with relevant and specific examples. This helps in strengthening your argument and makes it more convincing.

general

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos as they can detract from the overall quality of your writing. Proofreading can help minimize these issues.

task achievement

The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, discussing the relative merits of rural and urban lifestyles.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph is well-structured and contains a main idea supported by additional details, providing clarity to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

379 words

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many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. others believe that there are health benefits of living cities Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People are starting to think that the idea of having a single career is an old fashioned one and that having several part-time jobs is better. Do the benefits outweigh the disadvantage?

In today's world , many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages .

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some say that the best way to improve public health is by Increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this will have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the opportunity shop is the shopping centre has cheap secondhand furniture. Write to the shop, owner, describing what you need and asking whether they have this items and what they cost.