many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. others believe that there are health benefits of living cities Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
It is becoming increasingly prevalent for individuals to hold
a
view that Correct article usage
the
people
living in rural areas
will have a healthier lifestyle
than people
who live in urban areas
. Incontrast
, sceptics Correct your spelling
In contrast
belive
that there are several health advantages for city inhabitants. Correct your spelling
believe
This
writer argues that having a healthy lifestyle
is much more
easier when living in Change the word
apply
countryside
because of Correct article usage
the countryside
unpolluted
environment and Correct article usage
the unpolluted
freshfood
Correct your spelling
fresh food
fresh-food
suppliment
.
It is vital to understand that there Correct your spelling
supplement
are
less pollution in rural Change the verb form
is
areas
than urban
ones. To be more specific, the amount of Change preposition
in urban
vehicles'
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle'
exhausts
and Fix the agreement mistake
exhaust
factories'
emissions in the Fix the agreement mistake
factory'
countryside
are not as much as the
city's ones Change preposition
in the
due to
low population density. As a consequence
, the rural areas
will have fresher air and help inhabitants to avoid lung diseases. Moreover
, the
agriculture is more developed in the Correct article usage
apply
countryside
also
agricultural sewages are usually biodegradeble
, so those activities will not lead to pollution and provide Correct your spelling
biodegradable
people
a
healthy life.
Add the preposition
with a
However
, sceptics believe that urban areas
provide citizens better
healthcare services. Change preposition
with better
This
belief based
on the Add a missing verb
is based
technology
innovation in medication, there would be more machines and techniques will be possibly invented to cure illness. Not only that, but the hospital along will medical services Replace the word
technological
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
modernized in order to improve human aminities
. Correct your spelling
amenities
This
may be true but diseases stem from the harmful lifestyle
and pollutants from different sources which usally
exist in cities leading to the involvement of various healthcare services. So in the Correct your spelling
usually
countryside
with less pollution will minimize the menace of getting diseases.
This
is the writers' point of view, it is better to live in rural areas
because it provides individuals fresh
natural Change preposition
with fresh
food
sources. Explaning
Correct your spelling
Explaining
further
, food
in countryside
does not contain any Add an article
the countryside
subtances
to maintain or enhance the Correct your spelling
substances
food
quality. So on, individuals would not be affected by those poisons, chemicals keeping inhabitants away from sickness and give
them a healthy life. Wrong verb form
giving
According to
a reasearch
in 2015, the health status and lifespan of Correct your spelling
research
people
live
in Wrong verb form
living
countryside
are higher than Add an article
the countryside
the
Correct determiner usage
that
urban
citizens Change preposition
of urban
due to
the quality of food
that they consumed
throughout their Wrong verb form
consume
lifes
.
Correct your spelling
lives
Thus
, decontaminated nature and fresh food
suppliments
are essential points to be Correct your spelling
supplements
supplies
noticable
. It should have been demonstrated that it is better to live in Correct your spelling
noticeable
countryside
in Add an article
the countryside
Correct your spelling
order
oder
to lead a healthy Correct your spelling
order
lifestyle
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical transitions between paragraphs. Each paragraph should flow smoothly from one to the next. This makes the essay easier to follow and more coherent.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are supported with relevant and specific examples. This helps in strengthening your argument and makes it more convincing.
general
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos as they can detract from the overall quality of your writing. Proofreading can help minimize these issues.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, discussing the relative merits of rural and urban lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-structured and contains a main idea supported by additional details, providing clarity to your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example