In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
While
it is widely claim
that people nowadays Change the verb form
is widely claimed
having
their first child late Wrong verb form
have
compares
with previous Wrong verb form
compared
generation
that tend to own a family in their younger phase, others argue that . Both points of view and reasons why I will bring positive effects will be elaborated on in Fix the agreement mistake
generations
this
essay.
To begin
with, there are several possible benefits to encounter with
. Change preposition
apply
Hence
, I would like to mainly focus on the readiness of
both financial and emotional Change preposition
for
supports
from Fix the agreement mistake
support
a more mature parents
. Correct the article-noun agreement
more mature parents
a more mature parent
This
is possibly
because Replace the adverb
possible
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
baby
with good quality Correct article usage
a baby
require
numerous key factors like money, time, and Change the verb form
requires
affections
. Without these aforementioned aspects, raising a well Fix the agreement mistake
affection
behave
, healthy and kind-heart children would be difficult. Take unwanted pregnancy, Change the form of the verb
behaved
for example
; usually
Add a comma
usually,
this
type of pregnancy happened
in teenagers who Wrong verb form
happens
are not consider
as the proper Change the verb form
are not considered
age
for creating family
. The babies born from Add an article
a family
this
age
group generally
raised by Add a missing verb
are generally
a
more mature Correct article usage
apply
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
such
as the parents and grandparents instead
as they still have to go to school or even worse dropped
out of school to take care of their child.
Wrong verb form
drop
However
, many opponent
of Change to a plural noun
opponents
this
idea might oppose that in terms of medical aspects, especially mother
's and newborn health. To simply explain, the older the mother
age
, the greater Fix the agreement mistake
ages
risks
of their baby's anomalies it has Correct article usage
the risks
as well as
their own health. In this
respect, there is an
Correct article usage
apply
evident
showing that Replace the word
evidence
newborn
of the Fix the agreement mistake
newborns
mother
with an age
over 35 years old are likely to have higher chances of genetic anomalies such
as Down's syndrome.
Therefore
, I personally argue in favour of having family
Correct article usage
a family
in
Change preposition
at
later
time seeing that quality over quantity Correct article usage
a later
as well as
the advancement of fertility related
technology.
In a nutshell, Add a hyphen
fertility-related
although
it is undeniable that first pregnancy in late adults can causing
some drawbacks towards either the Change the verb form
cause
be causing
mother
or the infants, I am of the opnion
that having Correct your spelling
opinion
baby
when they are older Add an article
a baby
beneficials
Correct your spelling
beneficial
outweigh
its detrimental effects in order to create a healthy human both physically and mentally for the society.Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
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task achievement
Provide clearer and more thorough explanations for each point you raise. This will help to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and a conclusion that summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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