IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
Many people are of the opinion that spending property of government on roads and motorways is more essential than public
transport
. It is the writer's disagreement that public
transport
 should be carefully invested. It should be acknowledged that Improving
transport
 systems is the way to increase inhabitants’ happiness. There is a larger proportion of commuters who use public
transport
 than other means of
transport
, so the requirement for the facility and increasing improved
transport
 in public will show their happiness and trust in the government.
Therefore
, a scheme and money should be planned for future
transportation
 in public to raise inhabitants' trusting the authorities and
also
 enhance society. Another factor is that public
transportation
 is the icon in tourist's lens whether they go. Private
transport
 is now a downward trend so tourists are likely to choose buses or railways for their trips.
Consequently
, these means of
transport
 become an icon of an area and people will assess the service of that area by the
transportation
.
Hence
, better
transport
 means a better image of the city in criticism's eyes.
To sum up
, the government should spend their fund on public
transport
. These means of
transportation
although
 usually overseen by the authorities, play a vital role in assessing the happiness and the modern rate of an area.

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task achievement
Your main points are clear, but try to expand them with more specific examples or details to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between paragraphs to ensure a more seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic and you support it throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
What to do next:
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