IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English Speaking country and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #bar #show #proportion #students #language #english #country #three #languages #information #features #comparisons
The given research
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
show examples
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
show examples
 a bar graph about the percentage of students that learned a foreign
language
 in both genders .
In addition
 , to the most popular languages studied by students .
As an
Change preposition
An
show examples
overall
 view , the population
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 foreign
language
 slightly dropped in the next 23 years .
Marover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, French and
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
 languages decreased between 1984 and 2007 except
spanch
Correct your spelling
Spain
 it increased . To get in deep , in 1984 the
amount
 of girls that studied foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 50%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was double the
amount
 in 2007 .
While
 the
amount
 of Boys decreased
only
Change preposition
by only
show examples
 5% in non considerable
gab
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
 between 1984 and 2007 . For the top 3 languages , the
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
language
 decreased half the
amount
 dramatically to become 25% in 2007.
Furthermore
 ,
Correct article usage
the german
show examples
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
language
 dropped from 20% in 1984
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 15% in 2007 .
On the other hand
Correct article usage
the spanish
show examples
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
language
Add a missing verb
was mashroomed
show examples
mashroomed
Correct your spelling
mushroomed
 between 1984 and 2007 , it is the only
language
 that increased
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
%.
Submitted by sohad_saad2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • modern foreign languages
  • English-speaking country
  • demographic
  • participation
  • gender disparities
  • trends
  • popularity rankings
  • analyzing
  • implications
  • cultural factors
  • economic ties
  • global job market
  • increasingly globalized
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!