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Band 5

Nowadays as a part of the education process students are working for a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#part #education #process #students #company #period #time #outweigh
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These days internship is a part of
students
Use synonyms
' curriculum and they receive no payment in return. I believe,
although
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 there are a number of drawbacks involved in
this
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 trend, the benefits accruing to
students
Use synonyms
 are by no means
negligble
Correct your spelling
negligible
. On the plus side,there are some advantages for children who engaged in real work areas.
To begin
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 with, it is highly likely to have a promising career in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future. Simply put, they are taught in a practical way so their skills will be improved and saved
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in
this
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 competitive market.
For example
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, graduated
students
Use synonyms
 usually are struggling with finding a decent job. Though, companies'
proiority
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priority
 is more experienced workforce to
insure
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ensure
show examples
 their success.
Furthermore
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, in
advance
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advance,
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 they get
fimiliar
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familiar
 with
real
Correct article usage
the real
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 world
were
Correct your spelling
where
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 they face many problems and they learn how to deal with these obstacles which is a vital skill. A good illustration of
this
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 is, how to behave with colleagues and bosses in order to have a peaceful
relation
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relationship
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 with them.
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However
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However,
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 there are some negative points as well. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with
students
Use synonyms
' health.
That is
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 to say, it may put
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high pressure on them to do their assignments
as well as
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 be on time and be present on their job which takes a significant amount of time.
As a result
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, they would not have any
aspare
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spare
 time to be on their own
and
Correct word choice
which
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 may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to anxiety and depression.
Additionally
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, it may
Add a missing verb
be considerates
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considerates
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considered
considerate
 as
the
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apply
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abuse.
That is
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, they are not
payed
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paid
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 any salary and just have to work for free and it is not fair for them.
labors
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labours
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 and workers across the globe are being
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 work and
students
Use synonyms
 are not
ecxeption
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exception
exceptions
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need to be treated in the same way. In conclusion,
internship
Add an article
an internship
the internship
show examples
 can be both rewarding and problematic . Considering all points discussed above, I believe it is
neccessary
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necessary
 for every child in order to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
inssured
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insured
 working life.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point, and use clear topic sentences to introduce them.
coherence cohesion
Try to reduce minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of the same ideas and instead introduce different aspects to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate upon your points more comprehensively to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, summarizing your main points well.
task achievement
Specific examples are provided to support your points, adding to the relevance of your arguments.
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