Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
art
lessons, painting and drawing are as vital to a kid's development as other subjects
, so it
need to become a necessary subject in high schools. From my perspective, I both agree and disagree with those ideas and will tell the reason why.
It is vital to understand that Correct pronoun usage
they
students
should study
the main subjects
retailed
to their jobs in the future. The main Verb problem
related
subjects
will be guaranteed improving
knowledge and reduce stress when they Wrong verb form
to improve their
study
a lot of subjects
. Receiving information at the same time makes them overloaded with datas
. It is difficult for Correct your spelling
data
students
to acquire knowledge. Chinese students
is
an example, they spend a lot of time studying and do not have time to relax. Change the verb form
are
As a result
, art
classes do not need to study
in high schools.
On the contrary
, art
lessons will help students
develop social skills such
as creativity, critical thinking and problem-solving. It will make people feel easier in studying with other subjects
and have a good chance to develop themselves. In addition
, the children should study
art
because they need to develop acumen in thinking. They have an opportunity to learn how to observe works of art
and understand the meaning of arts
. The Fix the agreement mistake
art
colors
of painting and drawing will help children get excited about learning.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
colours
while
I support the view that both drawing and painting will be developed
the ability of Wrong verb form
develop
art
by
Change preposition
apply
the
children, I disagree that Correct article usage
apply
art
lessons is
not a compulsory subject in high schools.Change the verb form
are
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task achievement
Your essay gives a clear response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, it can be improved by providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention studies or real-life examples related to the benefits of art education.
coherence cohesion
The reasoning in your essay is generally clear, but structuring your points more logically could enhance the coherence of your response. For example, you might want to start with the arguments for making art classes compulsory and then discuss the counterpoints.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas with appropriate transition words to improve the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an introduction and conclusion, they could be stronger. The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed in the essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Proofreading will help correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, instead of 'retail to their jobs,' you could say 'related to their future careers.' This will make the essay easier to read.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent. This shows a balanced perspective, which is a key part of a strong task response.
task achievement
You make a good point about how art lessons can contribute to the development of social skills and critical thinking. This is an important aspect of the argument that strengthens your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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