Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
art
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lessons, painting and drawing are as vital to a kid's development as other
subjects
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, so
it
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they
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need to become a necessary subject in high schools. From my perspective, I both agree and disagree with those ideas and will tell the reason why. It is vital to understand that
students
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should
study
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the main
subjects
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retailed
Verb problem
related
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to their jobs in the future. The main
subjects
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will be guaranteed
improving
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to improve their
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knowledge and reduce stress when they
study
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a lot of
subjects
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. Receiving information at the same time makes them overloaded with
datas
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data
. It is difficult for
students
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to acquire knowledge. Chinese
students
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is
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are
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an example, they spend a lot of time studying and do not have time to relax.
As a result
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,
art
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classes do not need to
study
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in high schools.
On the contrary
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,
art
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lessons will help
students
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develop social skills
such
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as creativity, critical thinking and problem-solving. It will make people feel easier in studying with other
subjects
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and have a good chance to develop themselves.
In addition
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, the children should
study
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art
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because they need to develop acumen in thinking. They have an opportunity to learn how to observe works of
art
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and understand the meaning of
arts
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art
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. The
colors
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colours
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of painting and drawing will help children get excited about learning. In conclusion,
while
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I support the view that both drawing and painting will
be developed
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develop
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the ability of
art
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by
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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children, I disagree that
art
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lessons
is
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are
show examples
not a compulsory subject in high schools.

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task achievement
Your essay gives a clear response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, it can be improved by providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention studies or real-life examples related to the benefits of art education.
coherence cohesion
The reasoning in your essay is generally clear, but structuring your points more logically could enhance the coherence of your response. For example, you might want to start with the arguments for making art classes compulsory and then discuss the counterpoints.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas with appropriate transition words to improve the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an introduction and conclusion, they could be stronger. The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed in the essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Proofreading will help correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, instead of 'retail to their jobs,' you could say 'related to their future careers.' This will make the essay easier to read.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is excellent. This shows a balanced perspective, which is a key part of a strong task response.
task achievement
You make a good point about how art lessons can contribute to the development of social skills and critical thinking. This is an important aspect of the argument that strengthens your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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