Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
students
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
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apply
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tend to
studying
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study
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many
subjects
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about thinking, logic and which
also
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is the most priority
subjects
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in high school.
Besides
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that,
art
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classes
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don’t have to
study
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be studied
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, so
students
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cannot develop
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Correct pronoun usage
their brain
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brain
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brains
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efficiently. The writer of
this
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essay agrees that
art
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classes
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should be compulsory in high school. First of all, a
child
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will be able to improve
creative
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creativity
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if
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child
Add an article
a child
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studies painting and drawing.
For instance
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, in order to
creating
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create
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a picture, they must combine many
combine many
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apply
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skills
such
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as thinking, observation, etc.
Secondly
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, joining
in
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apply
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an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
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art
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classes
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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a
child
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feel better about
imagine
Wrong verb form
imagining
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. That’s because, some pictures will be created, to be specific, the
child
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must use
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brain
Add an article
the brain
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for
imagine
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imagining
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, eyes for observation and after that, drawing carefully to complete the picture. For these reasons, the
child
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will have more knowledge and explore experiences, so
who
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apply
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drawing the picture can express children's thoughts and feelings. Studies have shown that
art
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make
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makes
show examples
the
child
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feel
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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entertained and
relax
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relaxed
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after studying logical
subjects
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such
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as Math, Physics, etc. That’s because during
time
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the time
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to learn logical
subjects
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, the
students
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can
have been
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be
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stressed and tired,
however
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, joining a lesson’s
art
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make
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makes
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them feel
refresh
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refreshed
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mind.
Moreover
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, drawing and painting will help to prompt both
left
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the left
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brain
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,
right
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and right
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brain
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work
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to work
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for processing to improve
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child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
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brain
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in order to
supporting
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support
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in some
subjects
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like Math, Chemistry, etc.
Finally
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,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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an
Correct the article-noun agreement
art classes
an art class
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art
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classes
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also
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help
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helps
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the
child
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study everything related to architecture. In conclusion, joining
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
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art
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classes
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,
such
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as painting and drawing, are as significant for a
child
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’s progress
like
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as
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other
subjects
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,
therefore
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, it should be
must
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a must
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in high schools. What a pity, most
students
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feel it doesn’t need to study, so the
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
cannot take advantage of their brains.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, your ideas could be developed more comprehensively. More detailed examples and explanations would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more clearly defined and cohesive. Ensure that your introduction sets up your main points effectively and your conclusion summarizes your arguments convincingly.
language accuracy
There are some grammar and vocabulary errors throughout the essay. Careful proofreading and using a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary will help improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant points about the benefits of art classes, such as improving creativity and mental relaxation.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically, leading the reader through your points effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental health
  • Cultural awareness
  • Diversity and inclusion
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Academic performance
  • Artistic engagement
  • Career opportunities
  • Creative fields
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Game development
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