Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
students
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
tend to Correct article usage
apply
studying
many Change the verb form
study
subjects
about thinking, logic and which Use synonyms
also
is the most priority Linking Words
subjects
in high school. Use synonyms
Besides
that, Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
classes
don’t have to Use synonyms
study
, so Wrong verb form
be studied
students
cannot develop Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their brain
brain
efficiently. The writer of Fix the agreement mistake
brains
this
essay agrees that Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
classes
should be compulsory in high school.
First of all, a Use synonyms
child
will be able to improve Use synonyms
creative
if Replace the word
creativity
Use synonyms
child
studies painting and drawing. Add an article
a child
For instance
, in order to Linking Words
creating
a picture, they must combine many Change the verb
create
combine many
skills Remove the redundancy
apply
such
as thinking, observation, etc. Linking Words
Secondly
, joining Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
make
a Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
child
feel better about Use synonyms
imagine
. That’s because, some pictures will be created, to be specific, the Wrong verb form
imagining
child
must use Use synonyms
Use synonyms
brain
for Add an article
the brain
imagine
, eyes for observation and after that, drawing carefully to complete the picture. For these reasons, the Wrong verb form
imagining
child
will have more knowledge and explore experiences, so Use synonyms
who
drawing the picture can express children's thoughts and feelings.
Studies have shown that Correct pronoun usage
apply
art
Use synonyms
make
the Change the verb form
makes
child
feel Use synonyms
be
entertained and Unnecessary verb
apply
relax
after studying logical Wrong verb form
relaxed
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as Math, Physics, etc. That’s because during Linking Words
time
to learn logical Add an article
the time
subjects
, the Use synonyms
students
can Use synonyms
have been
stressed and tired, Wrong verb form
be
however
, joining a lesson’s Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
make
them feel Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
refresh
mind. Replace the word
refreshed
Moreover
, drawing and painting will help to prompt both Linking Words
left
Correct article usage
the left
brain
, Use synonyms
right
Correct word choice
and right
brain
Use synonyms
work
for processing to improve Fix the infinitive
to work
Use synonyms
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
brain
in order to Use synonyms
supporting
in some Change the verb
support
subjects
like Math, Chemistry, etc. Use synonyms
Finally
, Linking Words
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
art classes
an art class
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
help
the Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
child
study everything related to architecture.
In conclusion, joining Use synonyms
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
art
Use synonyms
classes
, Use synonyms
such
as painting and drawing, are as significant for a Linking Words
child
’s progress Use synonyms
like
other Change preposition
as
subjects
, Use synonyms
therefore
, it should be Linking Words
must
in high schools. What a pity, most Correct article usage
a must
students
feel it doesn’t need to study, so the Use synonyms
Use synonyms
child
cannot take advantage of their brains.Fix the agreement mistake
children
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, your ideas could be developed more comprehensively. More detailed examples and explanations would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more clearly defined and cohesive. Ensure that your introduction sets up your main points effectively and your conclusion summarizes your arguments convincingly.
language accuracy
There are some grammar and vocabulary errors throughout the essay. Careful proofreading and using a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary will help improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant points about the benefits of art classes, such as improving creativity and mental relaxation.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically, leading the reader through your points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?