Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
students
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
tend to Correct article usage
apply
studying
many Change the verb form
study
subjects
about thinking, logic and which also
is the most priority subjects
in high school. Besides
that, art
classes
don’t have to study
, so Wrong verb form
be studied
students
cannot develop Correct pronoun usage
their brain
brain
efficiently. The writer of Fix the agreement mistake
brains
this
essay agrees that art
classes
should be compulsory in high school.
First of all, a child
will be able to improve creative
if Replace the word
creativity
child
studies painting and drawing. Add an article
a child
For instance
, in order to creating
a picture, they must combine many Change the verb
create
combine many
skills Remove the redundancy
apply
such
as thinking, observation, etc. Secondly
, joining in
Change preposition
apply
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
art
classes
make
a Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
child
feel better about imagine
. That’s because, some pictures will be created, to be specific, the Wrong verb form
imagining
child
must use brain
for Add an article
the brain
imagine
, eyes for observation and after that, drawing carefully to complete the picture. For these reasons, the Wrong verb form
imagining
child
will have more knowledge and explore experiences, so who
drawing the picture can express children's thoughts and feelings.
Studies have shown that Correct pronoun usage
apply
art
make
the Change the verb form
makes
child
feel be
entertained and Unnecessary verb
apply
relax
after studying logical Wrong verb form
relaxed
subjects
such
as Math, Physics, etc. That’s because during time
to learn logical Add an article
the time
subjects
, the students
can have been
stressed and tired, Wrong verb form
be
however
, joining a lesson’s art
make
them feel Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
refresh
mind. Replace the word
refreshed
Moreover
, drawing and painting will help to prompt both left
Correct article usage
the left
brain
, right
Correct word choice
and right
brain
work
for processing to improve Fix the infinitive
to work
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
brain
in order to supporting
in some Change the verb
support
subjects
like Math, Chemistry, etc. Finally
, learn
Wrong verb form
learning
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
art classes
an art class
art
classes
also
help
the Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
child
study everything related to architecture.
In conclusion, joining an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an art class
art classes
art
classes
, such
as painting and drawing, are as significant for a child
’s progress like
other Change preposition
as
subjects
, therefore
, it should be must
in high schools. What a pity, most Correct article usage
a must
students
feel it doesn’t need to study, so the child
cannot take advantage of their brains.Fix the agreement mistake
children
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on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, your ideas could be developed more comprehensively. More detailed examples and explanations would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more clearly defined and cohesive. Ensure that your introduction sets up your main points effectively and your conclusion summarizes your arguments convincingly.
language accuracy
There are some grammar and vocabulary errors throughout the essay. Careful proofreading and using a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary will help improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant points about the benefits of art classes, such as improving creativity and mental relaxation.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically, leading the reader through your points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?