Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is said that parents should motivate their

children

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to participate in

group

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programmes during their spare time,

while

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others have the opinion that

children

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should know how to keep themselves occupied. If

children

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are allowed to take

part

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group

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activities, they will learn how to mingle and work with various people, building a sense of unity.

On the other hand

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, if they can find their own task to do, they can be more productive in any talent they like.

However

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, in my opinion, it is better that

children

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choose which method is best for them as each person is different, some may be introverts and some extroverts, who would only do better if left free in a surrounding they are comfortable in.

Children

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taking

part

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group

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activities will learn the

skill

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to work with and plan different

tasks

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together,

this

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helps them learn the

skill

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of unity, which is helpful for their future careers. As working in

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show examples

office requires

the

Correct article usage

apply

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cooperation between different people in a multidisciplinary approach, exposing

children

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to these situations during childhood will be a great asset for their future goals.

For instance

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, it was found that, it was those doctors who took

part

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group

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tasks

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during their childhood, showed more compassion to their patients and who took a collective decision with other doctors in case of treatment plans. Meanwhile, taking

part

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group

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tasks

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also

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helps them meet and interact with people of different backgrounds, ideas and interests.

This

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can widen their knowledge and provide them

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with a

show examples

platform to share their ideas, discuss and get feedback, enhancing their education.

On the contrary

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, if

children

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are allowed to decide how they want to occupy themselves, it helps them find what particular

skill

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they are interested in. In

group

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tasks

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, they have to have a common opinion and may not always get a stand on their own or do what they prefer the most, but if they are alone, they will do what is best for them. Not only does it help them find a new

skill

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, but it

also

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gives them room to practise their

skill

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and excel in the future.

This

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gives them more focus and attention to something that they like. It was found that those

children

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who spent most of their time alone during their young ages developed a unique

skill

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. Most artists and celebrities who are famous

reported

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are reported

show examples

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

have found their talent themselves

while

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being alone rather than being involved in groups. In conclusion,

although

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encouraging

children

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to take

part

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group

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activities to help them widen their knowledge, exposure and sense of oneness is a positive aspect, allowing them to occupy themselves to know what is best for them is

also

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a good side.

However

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, it is best that

children

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choose which method they prefer as each person has a different taste.

mshkrp2Mon May 20 2024

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grammar

While your essay presents a clear stance and provides relevant examples, be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Consider reviewing and refining sentence structures for clarity.

structure

Ensure that your paragraphs are balanced in length. Some paragraphs, such as the one discussing children occupying themselves, could be slightly more developed to match the depth of other sections.

introduction

Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and presents a balanced view. This makes your essay clear and easy to follow.

examples

You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the instance about doctors and group tasks. This makes your essay more persuasive and credible.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

477 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some cities create new housing for thier growing population by constructing a samller number of high-rise buildings.Other cities create more of Low-rise buildings whcih solution is better in your opinion.

Write a letter to your boss apologising for the recent meeting you missed at work. 1. Apologise for missing the meeting 2. Explain what happened 3. Say what you will do to compensate

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company’s manager. In your letter: give details of the celebration explain the reason why you need time off suggest a way to have your work done during that time.