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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

The best way of motivating workers is to offer them performance-based pay packets. Do you agree or disagree?

#workers #offer #packets
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There
is
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are
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 several ways to motivate your employees,
one
Correct word choice
and one
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 of them is giving bounces based on KPIs (key performance indicators),
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 method is
widly
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widely
 used in
workplace
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the workplace
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 nowadays, it has some drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them. The main drawback is it can lead to burnout, since some companies have a policy of offering a minimum basic base salary and the bigger sum is dependent on performance,
this
Linking Words
 can put a huge pressure on staff to work overtime to meet their needs.
this
Linking Words
 can be
overcomed
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overcome
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 by adjusting the
minmum
Correct your spelling
minimum
 wages to a higher
stander
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standard
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. Regarding benefits,
this
Linking Words
 method of
compansation
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compensation
 is fair, it stands against
discremenation
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discrimination
on
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in
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workplace
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the workplace
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, and
offering
Wrong verb form
offers
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 all employees a way to elevate their income based on a transparent method.
Submitted by maryamansour11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to provide a clear introduction and conclusion to give your essay a complete structure. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments and see your overall stance.
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Try to include specific examples and detailed explanations to better support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
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Avoid grammatical errors and pay attention to plural forms and verb agreements. For instance, 'There is several ways' should be 'There are several ways'. Revising your work can help catch these common mistakes.
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Develop your ideas more fully. For example, your discussion about burnout and fair compensation could include more detailed explanations and additional points to provide a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
You have chosen a clear stance on the topic and provided reasoning for your viewpoint, which gives your essay a strong foundation.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, and you have used appropriate linking words to connect your ideas, enhancing the flow of the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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