Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Whether
art
courses
should be considered
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
the same significance as other fields in tertiary education bears some discussion.
This
writer contends that these
courses
ought to be viewed as necessary for high-schoolers
due to
enhancement in creativity and stress outlet. It must be acknowledged that
students
enrolling in
art
lessons tend to be innovated for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
later
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
is
due to
the fact that undergraduates can express their ideas without being
in secured
Correct your spelling
insecure
show examples
about self-view of the world. So
as a result
, participation in
art
courses
allows
students
to think thoroughly and utilize the ability to make decisive initiatives turning to the way these
students
prefer it to be.
Therefore
, making
art
courses
an important factor to enhance their creativity. Another point that must be considered is that the
art
lessons would help undergraduates
regulating
Wrong verb form
regulate
show examples
moral-deteriorating behaviour and emotional issues.
In other words
,
students
participating
art
Change preposition
in art
show examples
classes
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
using
art
as a method to express their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
what they have endured.
As a consequence
of
this
, the undergraduates would not have to use extreme methods, or even worse, addiction to let their hair down and cope with stress.
Hence
, making
art
classes a probable way to help
students
coping
Wrong verb form
cope
show examples
with stress and
regulating
Wrong verb form
regulate
show examples
themselves for their own good. Taking all points into account,
art
would always be suitable no matter what kind of age the participants are in.
Furthermore
, it could help tertiary
students
have
Verb problem
develop
show examples
their creativity
enhanced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
for the
farther
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
future and a method of avoiding circumstances leading to addiction.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that the ideas connect coherently.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction clearly states your position and your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and elaboration. This will make your essay more convincing and complete.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and you present some valid points regarding the importance of art in high school education.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant points supporting the importance of art.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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