Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether
art
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courses
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should be considered
having
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to have
show examples
the same significance as other fields in tertiary education bears some discussion.
This
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writer contends that these
courses
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ought to be viewed as necessary for high-schoolers
due to
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enhancement in creativity and stress outlet. It must be acknowledged that
students
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enrolling in
art
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lessons tend to be innovated for
the
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their
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later
career
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careers
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.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that undergraduates can express their ideas without being
in secured
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insecure
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about self-view of the world. So
as a result
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, participation in
art
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courses
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allows
students
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to think thoroughly and utilize the ability to make decisive initiatives turning to the way these
students
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prefer it to be.
Therefore
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, making
art
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courses
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an important factor to enhance their creativity. Another point that must be considered is that the
art
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lessons would help undergraduates
regulating
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regulate
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moral-deteriorating behaviour and emotional issues.
In other words
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,
students
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participating
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art
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in art
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classes
favor
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favour
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using
art
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as a method to express their
emotion
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emotions
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of
Change preposition
about
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what they have endured.
As a consequence
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of
this
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, the undergraduates would not have to use extreme methods, or even worse, addiction to let their hair down and cope with stress.
Hence
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, making
art
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classes a probable way to help
students
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coping
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cope
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with stress and
regulating
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regulate
show examples
themselves for their own good. Taking all points into account,
art
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would always be suitable no matter what kind of age the participants are in.
Furthermore
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, it could help tertiary
students
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have
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develop
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their creativity
enhanced
Verb problem
apply
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for the
farther
Correct word choice
apply
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future and a method of avoiding circumstances leading to addiction.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that the ideas connect coherently.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction clearly states your position and your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and elaboration. This will make your essay more convincing and complete.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and you present some valid points regarding the importance of art in high school education.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant points supporting the importance of art.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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