Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
competitive era, where
people
improve themselves to be on top of their
field
. One of them
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
professional
athletes
. They inspire
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
generation to become better in their
field
.
While
some
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
behaviour might have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
influence on
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
. As
further
we go,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will give
opinion
Correct pronoun usage
my opinion
show examples
on both sides. As we know,
coin
Correct article usage
a coin
show examples
has two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
goes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other things
poisitive
Correct your spelling
positive
or negative.
Athletes
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
young
people
that they can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they work hard or
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
consistent. They let their actions talk that if someone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a dream and desire to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
that goal, nothing can stop them.
For example
, many
atheltes
Correct your spelling
athletes
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
advice to others that if they control their mind and be
stuborn
Correct your spelling
stubborn
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their goal nothing is impossible.
Although
, it's not easy
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
if it is easy
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
anyone can do it.
On the other hand
,
players
Change noun form
players'
player's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
influence on and off the
field
. Just like other humans,
athletes
are
also
human. They
also
behave
different
Change the adjective
differently
show examples
on and off
field
Add an article
the field
show examples
. Some might show aggression on
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
and calmness off
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
or vice-versa.
For example
, when
game
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
is in
Correct article usage
the cruical
show examples
cruical
Correct your spelling
critical
crucial
stage many
athletes
lose their temperament and do things which might make them lose
game
Add an article
a game
the game
show examples
or get
criticize
Replace the word
criticism
show examples
from
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
show examples
.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
from the above discussion, we can say that young
people
should take positive things from
athletes
. No one in
this
world is correct or right but it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on us what image or habit we want to learn from others.
Submitted by mk937634 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Improve the introduction to clearly state your main points in a concise manner. Introduce the topic and give your opinion briefly.
Logical Structure
Work on the logical flow between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Supported Main Points
Develop your arguments more comprehensively. Provide clear, detailed examples and explanations to support your points.
Balanced View
The essay presents both sides of the argument clearly.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and offers a clear final opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: