IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today youth are unemployed even after completing their education. What are the reasons behind growing youth unemployment? What effects does it have? According to you how can this problem of youth unemployment be overcome?

#youth #education #unemployment #effects
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There is no doubt that these days there are high numbers of unworking
people
Use synonyms
 who complete their studies successfully. There are several reasons for
this
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 problem and various measures could be taken to improve
this
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 situation. In
this
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 essay, I'm going to discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youth unemployment and the possible solutions. There are
variety
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a variety
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 of factors that have led to
make
Verb problem
apply
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the
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apply
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youth unemployment. One of the main causes that can be seen
the
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is the
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 huge number of
people
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 in the country to illustrate, there are studies showing that the increasing
of
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apply
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population reflects in finding jobs. The second reason is that foreign
people
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who
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apply
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compete
in
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for
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 available positions.
This
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 often leads to
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rising
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rises
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rising
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apply
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the
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apply
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unemployment
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Change preposition
in people
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people
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in people
show examples
 in their own country. There are several actions that governments could take to solve the issue described above.
Firstly
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, a simple solution would be to reduce the
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apply
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number of
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apply
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Correct article usage
the population
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population
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the population
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. That can be
by
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done by
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 creating rules
such
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 as each family must have just two kids
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 more. The second measure would be for
government
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the government
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 to employ
the
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apply
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citizen
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citizens
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instead
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 of foreign workers. A successful example
for
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of
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this
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 many countries like UAE
takes
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take
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there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own
people
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 first for
any
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apply
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jobs and
then
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looking
Wrong verb form
look
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 for authors to complete the lack if there
any
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are any
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. In the end, it's evident that after completing
the
Change the word
their
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 education there is a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 number of young who seek
for
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apply
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. Government must ensure that all steps are taken to prevent
this
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 phenomenon from harming our future.
Submitted by sara.albalushi1993 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay flows logically from one point to the next. Use transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly.
task response
Enhance your task response by developing your ideas more fully. Explain your points and provide more detailed examples to support your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on having clear, comprehensive ideas. Avoid vague statements and be specific in your arguments and examples.
task response
Check your essay for grammatical mistakes and sentence structure issues. This will improve clarity and make your arguments easier to understand.
introduction conclusion present
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, addressing the main points clearly.
complete response
You attempted to address various aspects of the issue, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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