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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Today youth are unemployed even after completing their education. What are the reasons behind growing youth unemployment? What effects does it have? According to you how can this problem of youth unemployment be overcome?

#youth #education #unemployment #effects
There is no doubt that these days there are high numbers of unworking
people
 who complete their studies successfully. There are several reasons for
this
 problem and various measures could be taken to improve
this
 situation. In
this
 essay, I'm going to discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youth unemployment and the possible solutions. There are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of factors that have led to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youth unemployment. One of the main causes that can be seen
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 huge number of
people
 in the country to illustrate, there are studies showing that the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population reflects in finding jobs. The second reason is that foreign
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compete
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 available positions.
This
 often leads to
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
rises
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Change preposition
in people
show examples
people
Change preposition
in people
show examples
 in their own country. There are several actions that governments could take to solve the issue described above.
Firstly
, a simple solution would be to reduce the
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. That can be
by
Add a missing verb
done by
show examples
 creating rules
such
 as each family must have just two kids
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
 more. The second measure would be for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to employ
the
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apply
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
instead
 of foreign workers. A successful example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 many countries like UAE
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own
people
 first for
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
jobs and
then
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 for authors to complete the lack if there
any
Add a missing verb
are any
show examples
. In the end, it's evident that after completing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 education there is a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of young who seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Government must ensure that all steps are taken to prevent
this
 phenomenon from harming our future.
Submitted by sara.albalushi1993 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay flows logically from one point to the next. Use transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly.
task response
Enhance your task response by developing your ideas more fully. Explain your points and provide more detailed examples to support your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on having clear, comprehensive ideas. Avoid vague statements and be specific in your arguments and examples.
task response
Check your essay for grammatical mistakes and sentence structure issues. This will improve clarity and make your arguments easier to understand.
introduction conclusion present
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, addressing the main points clearly.
complete response
You attempted to address various aspects of the issue, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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