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Band 5.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to chil’s development as other subjects. So it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend, do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #chil’s #development #subjects #school
There is a controversial idea that
art
 lessons are equivalent in terms of importance to other subjects about the development of a child and it must be compulsory in high school.
This
 writer strongly supports the opinion that artistry is crucial and needs to be a necessary subject for students because of creativity and more career options. The most striking benefit of
art
 is to explore one's creative potential.
While
 attending
art
 classes, students are engaging in the great work of painters,
therefore
, sparking interest in
this
 field.
Moreover
,
art
 learners are forced to imagine objects or create their own style in order to produce a piece of excellent
art
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, the ability to innovate new ideas and think outside of the box will be enhanced significantly. Another noticeable advantage of
art
 is more future career choices for undergraduates. What I mean is when children are taught
art
 in school, they could develop that into a career. Studying forms of
art
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 learners opportunities to be interested in
o
Correct your spelling
art
. If individuals have enough motivation and passion, they would be able to improve their skills, and ability or gravitate their social relationships toward great, talented artists who have the same interests as them. All
this
 will lead to more chances for students to take up
a
Change the article
an
show examples
art
 hobby and make a living out of it. Taking everything into account,
art
 is very vital for the growth of youngsters and should be a major class in the education system. Because of the upsides of potential creativity improvement and future life chances.
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task achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are fully developed with specific and concrete examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'chil's' instead of 'child's' and consistently capitalizing proper nouns.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your introduction and conclusion more concise and directly related to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs and between points within paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the importance of art in education.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay has a logical flow with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant and align well with the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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