IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative effect on plants and animal all over the world. Some people think that it too late to do something about it. other think that there is still time to take effective action. discuss both sides and give your opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#activity #effect #plants #world #people #time #action #relevent
Nowadays,
people
's lifestyle changes
has
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have
show examples
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
show examples
 unfavourable impact on
trees
 and
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
. Some groups of
people
 believe that it is impossible to do anything now,
whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
stated
Wrong verb form
state
show examples
 that still we have
an
Remove the article
apply
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enough time to save
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 by making robust plans. Before giving my opinion on
this
 topic, I would like to discuss
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, many individual argues that it's too late to take any action
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to save
trees
 and
animals
. The first and foremost reason to support
this
 view is increasing
pollution
 day by day. To elaborate,
pollution
 is created by vehicles and industries and these things are not going to decrease because of
incline
Add an article
the incline
an incline
show examples
 in population around the globe.
For instance
,
People
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 private vehicles rather than public transport to reach their destination and it creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
.
Moreover
, some
animals
 are lost because of these human activities and those are not going to come back. In that, some
creature
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creatures
show examples
 needed
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
environment
 to live,
whereas
 global warming made it difficult for them to survive.
Thus
, it is not easy to get back those
animals
 back
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the
environment
.
However
, another group of folks said that if we can make strong plans,
than
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then
show examples
 still we will save plants and
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 from
extinctions
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extinction
show examples
.
Firstly
, the government should make a plan to reduce
pollution
 and take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal activities, which
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unfamiliar conditions for wildlife.
For example
, many reports suggest that
people
 are cutting
trees
 illegally to use wood for making money.
Furthermore
, spreading awareness about the importance of
trees
 and
animals
 in the living
environment
, which might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
play a crucial role in preserving wildlife and plants. In my opinion, it is still we have time to make robust strategies to make
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
show examples
 and sustainable atmosphere for the plants and
animals
.
In that
Change preposition
That
show examples
 comprehensive approach from both the authorities and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 will help to preserve wildlife.
Submitted by pp6859 on

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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and gives an opinion in the conclusion. However, the explanation for each side's perspective can be more detailed. Ensure you provide clear and comprehensive ideas supported by more specific examples from your own knowledge or experience.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transition between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking phrases more effectively to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction outlining the two perspectives and a conclusion that provides the writer's opinion.
logical structure
The argument is divided into paragraphs, each discussing a different viewpoint, which aids in understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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