IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The road near your house is completely unsuitable for traffic. Write a letter to your local council. In your letter: • Introduce yourself; • Explain what the problem is; • Tell what would you like to be done. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ....,

#road #house #traffic #council #addresses
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to bring to your
intention
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
 the issue that I am facing in our
city
. The issues with the road in my residence. For that reason, I always get late to work or find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to do some activities. Please let me explain about it. First of all, let me introduce
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
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. My name is Yohanes Patricius, I am 40 years old and work as
accountant
Add an article
an accountant
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. I
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
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 in
this
city
 since I was born here. I really love
this
city
 as I
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
have grown
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 here and many unforgettable memories. The life quality is good enough and surrounded by many amazing
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and places.
However
, for the past
weeks
Add a comma
weeks,
show examples
 I have experienced immense discomfort
due to
 traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in my residence as the road has
many
Add a missing verb
had many
show examples
 holes since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
 winter and many citizens here always give complaints to the major by
emails
Fix the agreement mistake
email
show examples
 or letter. But,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is still no response until now. For that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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, I have attached many photos in
this
 letter to you to take appropriate action to tackle
this
 issue. You can ask the civil technician in our
city
 and they can resolve
this
 problem by mechanical approach. After that, you can prepare the funds to repair these hole roads. A prompt reply will be highly appreciated, Thank you in advance. Yours Faithfully Yohanes
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you address all points clearly. The mention of being late to work could be more directly connected to the unsuitable road condition.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs strengthening. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and flows logically from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by providing clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help in maintaining a steady flow of information.
task achievement
You have appropriately introduced yourself and provided relevant personal details.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for addressing local council officials.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately formal and fit the context of the letter.

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