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Band 2.5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read ebooks rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#years #people #ebooks #paper #books
Nowadays, there are a lot of
e-
books
. They're growing up between teenagers and school pupils. In their opinion, it is more suitable than
paper
books
. But
paper
books
 are better for me. Because that's enjoyable.
In addition
,
e-
books
 can be harmful to the eyes. There are many disadvantages
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
e-
books
. Some people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor vision,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that they shouldn't read
e-
books
. If you do not have wifi, you will need
network
Correct article usage
a network
show examples
 and sometimes you do not have limits for
network
Add an article
the network
show examples
.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 you may be in a
slowly
Change the adverb
slow
show examples
network
 place. So that you
can'tread
Correct your spelling
can't read
e-
books
. You must download
e-
books
 when you
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 at home.
However
, there are advantages too.
For instance
,
paper
books
 are more expensive than
e-
books
. You need money for
paper
books
 and you need limits for
network
Add an article
the network
a network
show examples
 to read
e-
books
.
Paper
books
 are more interesting to read. You can everywhere when you want. I have a friend who
approach
Change the verb form
approaches
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 from shops and
read
Correct subject-verb agreement
reads
show examples
 only
paper
books
, not
e-
books
.
In addition
, in the book shops or in a library you can get advice about
books
 from
assistant
Add an article
the assistant
an assistant
show examples
.
For example
, they
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 which
books
 are better or which
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 is interesting. Old
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
also
 prefer
paper
books
 because they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have smartphones when they were young. I strongly believe that there will always be interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
paper
books
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task response
The essay should have a clear, specific thesis in the introduction to guide the reader, such as 'The advantages of paper books far outweigh the advantages of e-books, especially regarding enjoyment and eye health.'
task response
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mention studies or personal anecdotes that illustrate the harmful effects of e-books on vision.
coherence
Work on improving the logical flow of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph discusses one main idea and directly supports your thesis.
cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases such as 'However,' 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' and 'For example.'
task response
The essay presents a clear stance that paper books are preferable due to their enjoyment and health benefits.
task response
The essay includes both advantages and disadvantages of e-books which shows an attempt to present a balanced argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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