Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that more
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and less leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is better than making a little bit
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

money
Change preposition
of money

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and more free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my point of view,
most
Add an article
the most

The noun phrase most important thing seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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important thing
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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here is
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's lifestyles because
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

working a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a really stressful thing for some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, for others it can be not a very concerning thing. The primary
reason
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are choosing working so hard in their lives
because
Add a missing verb
is because

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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seeing their potential
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that they earn
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

makes them feel stronger and confident in life.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my uncle is the most hardworking person that I have ever seen, he just
have
Change the verb form
has

It appears that the subject pronoun he and the verb have are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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2 week
Add a hyphen
2-week

It appears that 2 week is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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vacation in a year but it is not a big deal for him because in these 2
weeks
Add a comma
weeks,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in these 2 weeks. Consider adding a comma.

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he
lives
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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the best adventures and
miserible
Correct your spelling
miserable

If you don’t want miserible to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

experiences of his life. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Since. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

holiday is enough for him
anually
Correct your spelling
annually

If you don’t want anually to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

because he knows how to spend his
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

enjoyfully.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some individuals that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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need little breaks
temperory
Correct your spelling
temporary

If you don’t want temperory to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in their lives,
otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they get stressed a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and it
cause
Replace the word
causes

The word cause doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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depression which is the main
reason
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for not being productive enough in their work.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lifestyle
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for them so, they don't have any problem with earning
small
Add an article
a small

The noun phrase small amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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amount of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because
main
Add an article
the main

The noun phrase main reason seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
reason
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their happiness is
lots
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
questionary
Correct your spelling
questionnaire

The word questionary doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in some universities in my country shows that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of students in these universities
planning
Wrong verb form
plan

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb planning. Consider changing it.

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to have a lifestyle which consists
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lots
Change preposition
of lots

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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of breaks, small
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds

It seems that kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel

It seems that travels may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and so on, rather than working all day. The main
reason
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for that which many of them conclude was their family. They said that their family members, especially their parents work a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but they can not find enough happiness or excitement in their home
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are financially stable and have enough
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for travelling
Change preposition
to travel

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lots
Change preposition
to lots

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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of places. All in all, I think everybody
have
Change the verb form
has

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everybody does not agree with the verb have in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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to understand what they really want in their life and which lifestyle is
mos
Correct your spelling
most

If you don’t want mos to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

suitable for them and their family.
Because for
Correct word choice
For

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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some working a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and earning
lots
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be the best way
for living
Change preposition
to live

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it can be like
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun torture in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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torture for others.

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coherence cohesion
Try to proofread your essay in order to eliminate grammatical errors and enhance the overall readability. You have some small inaccuracies that could be easily fixed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contributes a clear, cohesive idea to support your argument. Some sentences in your essay could be better connected for improved coherence.
task achievement
Add more concrete examples and explanations to your supporting points. This will help in illustrating your ideas more thoroughly.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction and conclusion. While your essay does well in having both, your main viewpoint should be a bit more emphasized.
content
Your essay shows a good understanding of both perspectives related to the topic of money versus free time. You provided examples to support each viewpoint.
structure
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which adds to the readability and flow of your text.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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