Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some
people
believe that it
best
Add a missing verb
is best
show examples
to have a short vacation
while
others think that having
a longer
Correct the article-noun agreement
a longer holiday
longer holidays
show examples
holidays
will be better than a short vacation .
This
topic should be examined carefully before forming an opinion. Both points of view will be discussed in the following essay. Some
people
think that short
holidays
are better for several reasons .
For example
, a study published at New York University concluded that 60% of
people
like to get
a short
Correct the article-noun agreement
a short holiday
short holidays
show examples
holidays
and see
that
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best method to get a break and to feel more relaxed.
Moreover
, short
holidays
help to provide a great mood and improve it .In our words, it helps to keep out bad excitement as nerves and stress.
Nevertheless
, some families want to get a short enjoy and feel over the moon with their children because after that have work or study . Alternatively, others argue that longer vacations are the best and they are a cup of tea .
For instance
, some
people
choose
this
type of holiday to get more relaxed after a longer trouble
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
their work.
Furthermore
, others like to seet to learning new language and study .
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, more and more
people
should keep longer because they have a therapeutic trip . Not only that but
also
,
70
Correct word choice
but 70
show examples
% of
people
prefer to discover multiple cultures and their new traditions. In short, vacations are a controversial topic with different opinions.
However
, both sides have their merits on balance. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that the advantages of short vacations are more than negative.
Submitted by alasu8899 on

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task response
In the introductory paragraph, make sure to clearly restate the topic and preview the structure of your essay.
task response
Ensure that each main point is clearly and comprehensively explained to help the reader understand your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structure by using clear topic sentences and ensuring paragraphs follow a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as transition words to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that the connection between ideas is clear and smooth.
task response
You presented both views on the topic and provided specific examples for each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarized the discussion and stated your opinion clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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